Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Who comes up with these rules---repost

In some recent posts and conversations over the past month or so, I have come to the conclusion that much of what and how we define our lives is outlined in some "rulebook" or behavioral guidelines. I rebuke the rulebook and choose to be an "out of the box" thinker!!

Here are some that I want to throw up for discussion:

1. Waiting 3 days after getting a phone number to call-so you don't look desperate
2. What is cool about having the 1st date as a movie or dinner
3. Placing a time frame stipulation on having sex ie: 3 month rule(NEVER!!!!!)
4. Waiting for the night to end to get the "good kisses"
5. Making the first move is the man's responsiblity
6. Why do u have to have a fight to get the "animalistic sex" or break up to make up?
7. What does the 1st one to call back after an argument loses---prove?
8. When is the "don't have to call 1st before stopping by" go into effect?
9. Should the man pay for every date/outing?
10.What is off limits conversation when the purpose is to get to know each other?

I was just curious and named a few that came to mind...there are thousands that are applicable..

Who's the first batter up to take a swing or to add to the list of rebukable rules AND WHY???


lisa q. said...

me! me! me! i wanna be first! :P hehe...

3 days is just plain stupid...why we think we have to play these kind of games is completely beyond me...you like 'em? frickin' call 'em...i mean please!

okay, i guess that pretty much applies to all 10 doesn't it??? :D

Nic said...

Here are a couple more.
Whoever says "I love you" first is a cold sucka. It ain't no fun if your friends can't have some. And
Bro's before Hoes

As far as your list goes......

# 6 ain't right

# 8 is crazy. I don't care how long I've known you. I want a call
every time!

Do you break all of those rules?

dc_speaks said...

i am a habitual line crosser...hahahahah how's that for an answer?

Girly_Girl said...

I've been out of the dating game for a long time, but I never remember a man waiting THREE WHOLE DAYS after getting my number to call me. That just seems like something kids in junior high do!

Lo said...


chokkklitsoul said...

1. Waiting 3 days after getting a phone number to call-so you don't look desperate

[B]If his ass waits 3 days he may be passed up!!! LOL... you snooze you lose!!![/B]

3. Placing a time frame stipulation on having sex ie: 3 month rule(NEVER!!!!!)

[B]This rule is stupid...and has been put in place because of CLOSE MINDED men...who think that women who like sex are ho's!!!! If I want to get down...I will...fuggit the 3 month rule! [/B]

5. Making the first move is the man's responsiblity
[B]Not in Chokkk's world!!!![/B]

6. Why do u have to have a fight to get the "animalistic sex" or break up to make up?

[B]The only reason this rule exist is because "some" women are afraid to be who they be!!! If you a freak put cha lighters up!!!!! Be like an animal!![/B]

7. What does the 1st one to call back after an argument loses---prove?
[B]That I hate arguing!!!! I hate being on bad terms...so you can guarantee I will be the one to make the first call!!! Let's get on to the making up dammit!!!![/B]

8. When is the "don't have to call 1st before stopping by" go into effect? [B]As soon as I open my legs to you baby!!!! LMAO!!!![/B]

9. Should the man pay for every date/outing?

[B]If he wants to!!!! LMAO!!![/B]

10.What is off limits conversation when the purpose is to get to know each other?
[B]Nothing....that is the dumbest shit eva!!!![/B]

It is What It Is... said...

- He should be the one to suggest or ask if "we" can take the relationship to the next level

Also - I am a firm believer that who ever makes up first loses...LMAO!!

Bklyn Diva said...

lmao.. the games are the games and I guess that is why I lost so often cause I didn't conform to no damn rules.. I do as I felt for the situation LOL

Shai said...

Funny some of the rules can be followed and the rule keeper loses out. smh.

I have rules that set boundaries. Like don't call me after midnite during a workweek if we are just dating. I mean I have to work and I find it rude. That is just me.

Shai said...

#3 and 10, have some limits. LOL. I am one for being outside the box. But come on there are some limits. I ain't sexing you too soon and some ish ain't ya bidness to know. LOL.

dc_speaks said...

@Lo: huh? whats all that about?

@chokkk: i see you had fun with these rules..girl you are something else.

hey errbody...good morning to ya.

@Saadia: hey there, MF!

welcome back j croft.

what up b diva

howdy doo Shai

lisa: yes you were first and i thank you for it

nic: i dont knw what im goign to do with you...lol

Lo said...

#1 If you don't call within 3 days after meeting me and us clicking, barring your being held hostage, hurt, out of the country, or closing a major deal, I will recognize that it's a game and will not be interested. At all. I don't give a flying frick who you are. Three days is downright silly. (Side note: if you call too many times within hours of meeting me, barring us have extreme conversational chemistry, you'll just be considered downright scary...and a nutjob.)

#2 First dates should be as creative as the two people who are going on the date.

#3 Too soon or too long is relevant to the people involved, although I believe having sex with someone without defining any boundaries of a relationship, if that's what you want, is definitely asking for trouble.

#4 Kissing too soon can be the wrong move. Sometimes you need to wait and see if the person is where you are and feeling the same way. That can be early in the date, in the middle, or at the end. You'll know. There's nothing worse than having a guy close in for a kiss when all you've been thinking is "how the hell can I get out of here?"

#5 I'm old-fashioned in that regard. I like alpha males, so I want them to make the first move. That doesn't mean they'll make all the moves. But there is something to be said for the chase.

#6 Leaving that alone.

#7 I used to think the first one who called back loses. Galaxies would collide before that happened. I was never the first to call back, unless I had clearly injured someone's feelings, which is not my style. Then I met someone where that kind of foolishness doesn't apply on any level. When you know someone's heart and intentions are good, all that fuckery goes out the window.

#8 is some b*llshit. Seriously. No one should ever just drop in. That's just a courtesy thing. They make a show about people who drop in without calling: Cheaters.

#9 The person who suggests the date should pay. Still, no one should have to pay for everything. There should be a mutuality of enthusiasm. Otherwise, you're just someone's walking wallet.

#10: Nothing should be off limits.

chokkklitsoul said...

DC...I just believes in keepin it real!!!! :) but hell yeah!! I have a blast everytime I visit!

CapCity said...

my memory is selectively awful, so i don't remember rules. LOL! But, i have come to realize that thing about men needing to chase is real...so, i've learned to get back into that part of my child-hood and let all those game of tag pay off;-)


Great list!

I'm not the most patient woman, so waiting for THREE WHOLE DAYS is enough to make me be real cold and icy during that first call. The next day, sure, but three days?

I'm battling with the sex thing right now...I don't mean battling the guy that I'm dating, because we aren't even close to that point...wait, he may think so, but I don't....So, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it, which may be soon (arghhh!). But, I'm not all for spreading them just because the mood hits, and is three months really such an unreasonable amount of time to wait and really get to know one another to see if things are cool? I don't really think so...but hell, I'm just about to the point of putting a small vial of holy water in my panties and one betwixt my breasts when I have to be alone with a man that I'm really digging. "My mind's telling me nooooooo, but my body..." lol

I'm not too quick to open my wallet during a date, at all...but, I don't mind paying every now and again...after many, many weeks of outings. Besides, I return the favor in other ways like cooking on days when we don't go out. That food wasn't exactly from a U.N. food drop. I had to buy it and use my gas and electricity to cook it. Oh, and when a negro gets realy comfortable (i.e., eating like a horse), we start making those trips to the grocery store together, so he can then start paying for those groceries. I still foot the gas and electric bills. lol

Ms. Behaving said...

"RULEBOOK"??--What's that?? LOL

Love the list!! :-D

dc_speaks said...

oh ya'll are having fun with these i see.

glad to be able to provide such an entertaining subject. lol
hello sugar, cap and ms b. how you derrin?

wow...i loved the breakdown Lo.

very interesting comments indeed.

dc_speaks said...

sugar....you are a riot. straight up.

Shai said...

Lo, no question is off limits? LOL. I mean some dudes want to know too much too soon.

I was just thinking how I have paid for dates and a part of me feels that a man should start the paying.

DC, you say you break rules. Do you have any rules or at least boundaries?

dc_speaks said...


tAnYeTTa said...

what in the world??
please tell me it has NOT been this long since i've been in the dating world. yup, it has!

well, i met my guy in chemistry class, passed him a note and told him to see me after class. needless to say, 20+ years later, he is still trying to figure out how the damn note passin caused him to stick around this long!

as far as the 3 month rule, we waited 2 months and that's only because our parents drove us home from school. it wasn't until we were old enough to drive that we met up for humpty dance dates. LOL

Lo said...

Shai, no question is off limits. That doesn't mean I have to answer it, though. ;-)

Seriously, I don't give up too much information to anyone to soon. Guys like that get a pat "nunna" from me quick. But if me and my guy have defined that we are on a mutual path towards truly being together, then we need to be able to tell each other everything...at the very least, the things that really matter. There's nothing worse that finding out too late that you're not on the same page or have irreconcilable differences.

dc_speaks said...

well well...preach baby, preach!

Vickie said...

1.3days hmmm... wut did u say your name was
2.movie, dinner doesnt matter
3.sex, i see nothing wrong with waiting 3 months, but treat each date individually if your feeling him,get u some, keeping emotions in tack...whats wrong with being friends first...
4.kisses, please know how
5.he has to be the aggressor even if i shut him down
6.PLEASE lets make up
7.I will admit i'm very stubborn so i'll walk away before i say sorry (cause i'm always right)smile
9.I see nothing wrong with it but i can contribute, also depends on situation..
10.dont ask dont tell, bot i'm a great listener

WHEW that was alot, now we all have rules and hopefully you handle each situation accordingly. But once your rid of all b/s meaning she's it or he's the one. One rule applies ABSOLUTELY NO CHEATING!!!

Veroncia said...

Personally I like rule #3. I can't put a firm timeline on when it's cool to give it up. But the panties ain't coming off until I comfortable with taking them off. I maybe date two or twenty-two. That just depends. But I'm not in any kind of rush to give up the goods now. So brothers you must wait.

And for #8, unless you have been given a key, I strongly suggest you call first or get your feelings hurt.

dc_speaks said...

well look at the two V's---powerhouse comments.

Vickie, you are ummmmm...just Vickie! hahahahah

Shai said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KIKI said...

Rules...schmules...only one matters...HONESTY!...(ya'll lying, cheatin, mf's....)Oh, my bad...forgot where I was for a minute...LOL!

CreoleInDC said...

You just made me soooooooooooooo grateful for not having to play the "rules" anymore. I'd forgotten some of these!


dc_speaks said...

heyyyy big sister!!!