Monday, June 11, 2007

Monday Morning Musings

A fellow blogger was inspired to do a "Wednesday day of wisdoms" and I loved the concept. I encourage you to visit CapCity's blog to find out more. I feel a little too goofy to copy so I shall just call it ...Monday Musings. I love theme days...also check out ThrowBack Thursday's on the World According to Cortney Gee and Ray Ray's Sun Times page. Oh and of course..Potluck Friday. morning has been absolutely fantastic thus far. The only dim spot I've had is the sportscenter reporting on the Cavs game last night.

As I got myself ready to take my son and his fellow scholars to school at 6 am, I had a moment to ponder on responsiblities. More to the point, is there a standard age for increased resposniblities or what should I expect from a 15yr old? Should I even be driving these kids to school, or should they be bussing it like most of the other student in their school. I was perplexed to say the least.

Here's my question that I pose to you. Does making it easier for teenagers mean that we are enabling them or giving them a break before they reach adulthood when the "real" responsiblities kick in?

Anyone care to chime in?


Nic said...

DC :)

I didn't even see that post from Friday! At 3:00pm I grabbed my check, and I was gone! HaHa! I am so mad I missed that. You know that's one of my favorite skits right? I don't even think I want to work any more today. I'm just gonna' sit and replay that all day.
Wait....let me not get fired ;)

dc_speaks said...

yeah...don't get fired! that wouldn't be good.

Glad you liked it. Have a wonderful week.

ja stu sister lock journey said...

Hi dc,
Good morning I watched the game last night what a beating? I am sure ur looking forward to Wednesdays game, u can tell me about it on Thursday.

My children were taken to and from school by car until they got to 6thform, they got a little car to share.I am glad we did that.There were a lot of bonding with them during those days.Its a good thing to do for them if you can.
Have a good week.

Bklyn Diva said...

Ok.. firs thing.. the CAVS look real umm SHAKY..

Now to the question.. you aren't enabling them.. I don't know what its like in your area but my teen rides the bus *one because I have to be to work before she even gets up* but secondly, the school she goes to is pretty far out.. Now she rides a SCHOOL BUS that comes to pick her up and drops her off.. if its anything like NY where you are and the kids have to ride public transportation, I probably would rearrange my schedule and drop her to school too.. ONLY because of the ISH that happens on public transportation. They are learning responsibilites at home, and through their activities with discpline, etc.. Unless you are straight up carrying his hand, then NO you aren't enabling them..

Nic said...

Hi again,

I don't have any children yet, but when I do, I will be shuttling them around for as long as they let me :) I don't think that's enabling them. I’m just worried about their safety.

This world is out of control, and now-a-days, there are too many crazies, who don't have any respect for human lives. Kids are getting snatched (and worse) every single day. You can't even use a public restroom in the mall without getting stabbed-up in Philly. So from a safety point of view, I think you're doing the right thing.

Also, childhood goes by so quickly. Once it's over you can't really get it back. I say protect/spoil them while you can, but try to teach them that you're doing it because they are PRECIOUS to you. Protect your children while they need it. That's part of your responsibility & joy, as an adult.


Anonymous said...

DC: First, you are truly a man. All good. I expect I'll be making the same admission sometime in the next three games. But the series....

Second, i think you gotta mix it up bruh. In some areas they need to "come up hard" and realize what it takes to make it. In others, you gotta show love, support and lift them along the way. You'll be amazed at how fast they go from walking across the carpet toward you, to walking across the stage away from you.

JustMeWriting said...

GOOD QUESTION, I think it's ok to do what you can for them. I believe the rearing is in the teaching, so even while you're 'doing' teach them why and how they should grow. I try to do so much for my babies...and people would surely say they're kinda spoiled, based on ME but even while I'm spending, doing, protecting I'm teaching.

So, I'll tell them...I'm able to do these things for you because God has blessed me too, but it's not to be taken is hard to come by and you've got to use it wisely. So, they learn to appreaciate things. Even chores teach them why they need to do it's more then a decree, it's a lesson of life.

KIKI said...'s my opinion as a single parent raising boys. The ride to school is cool, you're not enabling him. Shoot, in a couple more years he'll probably be begging you NOT to chauffeur him around because it'll be too embarasing "for his daddy to take him everywhere" especially when he & his friends get of driving age. Now if he gets to be 17, 18, 19, 20...and still askin dad to give him a ride..then hell yeah, your enabling...if he doesnt have a car at that point he should be gettin his grown butt on the RTA!

You're a smart man'll know when it's time to push him outta the nest. Until then, hold on to him tight cause they grow up FAST. Hell in a couple of years you'll be wondering where did your baby go & why doesn't he need you anymore?

Sorry if that was a little lengthy, but I'm going crazy not posting SOMETHING...had to comment while my friend is in the shower cause I was told no blogging while on vacation...I don't think he knows who he's talking to LOL!

Good Post Son!

dc_speaks said...

excellent comments being dropped , fam. It's not a rough neighborhood nor is it really far. Maybe 12 min by car and 30-40 by bus. I just hear how kids get complacent and take things for granted when it comes to dealing with their parents. I don't think this geneartion appreciates things like us. I had to work for mine...hard. I give latitude but it's sometimes confusing when they act very mature in somethings and totally immature in others.

again...excellent comments

Andrew The Asshole said...

its parents responsibility to prepare their child for "life" but hell half the adults are fucked up and can't handle responsibilities so of course the kids aren't going to get it.

Ms. Behaving said...

I think you're doing a great thing and I wouldn't say you were enabling him in the process.

If I drove, I'd probably shuttle my teenagers and their friends to school too (that is, if they weren't too embarrassed for me to be dropping them off) LOL.

As long as you haven't reached that point with your son yet then it's safe for you to consider yourself a cool dad and it's likely your son is very appreciative of what you are doing for him.

deepnthought said...

I dont have my own babies as of yet. But I can only imagine I will be driving my babies around. I didnt like riding the bus as a kid. But if they want to ride the bus, I may let them. Does your son want to ride the bus?

Blu Jewel said...

personaly, i think it's a mix of both. you can't shelter your children from the world and just because you want to spare them til they hit the "real" world, you can't forget; this IS the real world. they have to learn time management and responsibility for themselves and this is a good time for them to start.

on the flip side, the extra time you get to share is priceless and will cement the bond you share.

compromise...take them some days and let them bus it on others.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

I see no problem with taking them to school.

CapCity said...

First, thanx for the shout out;-).

Speaking from a former teacher's perspective - i will say too many parents are crippling their children by doing so much for them. Children need & want a challenge and even if they balk - most children want to be trusted to do more than they seem to be able to do. As a young adult I recall going for job interviews, opening bank accounts & going to restaurants alone even in high school. I was proud that I paid attention to my parents who taught me how to handle myself in a variety of situations. I don't see that level of maturity in most children today.

Good luck to all parents on the balancing act of pampering AND preparing your children for the real world.

dc_speaks said...

well...this has been interesting indeed.

My son want's rides all the time...he's around me quite a bit so the quality time thing is pretty cool.

He likes to ride the bus to go to the mall, movies and other outings with his friends (sometimes)and so I let him do that.

Like I said, by the time I was 13, I was beggin to do some things on my own. It's not just my son, but most of these neighborhood kids...all of them are spoiled. LOL.

Shai said...

My daughter is not spoiled. LOL. Funn though, I had SO much more I had to do as a kid cause moms was not looking out for me.

My daughter is interesting. She knows what from what as far as responsibilities. Yet, these kids these days still don't get it.

DC, if you are instilling in him good values and how to be responsible I don't see it spoiling him if you drive him to school. It is showing you care and that you are being responsible.

dc_speaks said...

lol...I take 4 of them to school in the morning...3 other neighborhood kids that all goes to to the same honors school.

2 other parents alternate on the pick ups--daily of all 4 of them. They getr dropped off and picked up daily. The funny thing is...he always has free bus passes that he uses only on the occasional stay a little late days, but they get them everyday.. that's funny.


Great question D.C. It's a Catch-22 for parents I'm sure. You don't want to just throw your kids to the wolves, but enabling is a very real problem. My 27 year old brother, recently thrown out of my grandma's house, after being thrown out of my folks house prior to that, is now BACK at my folks' house...biding his time...because any day now, my dad is going to boot his butt out of there too!

HE'S been enabled and now that they've created this monster, they don't know how to get rid of it.

I think you just have to use your best judgement.

dc_speaks said...

Indeed it is a catch 22, sugar. by the way, I want to thank new comers to the blog and hopefully encourage you to come back on the regular and drop your thoughts on the screen. Blu Jewel, The Diva, Ja Stu and Ms behavin...I formally welcome you to the blog.

I wish all to continue to have a fantastic day and again all the comments and perspectives are welcomed here.

CortneyGee said...

fuck them kids let them ride the bus or walk like we did ... smile
The world isn't going to be easy on them in the years follwing the free ride he is getting now and not fully appreciating . I have three boys that i pay a cell bill for and do they call me once without my prodding or threats to take it away fuck no !!! ˇhey even let their mom use it to call folks on.. major violation . I went to school once didnt like waking up then damn sure wouldn't appreciate it as a grown man. Damon you are a better dude than I am taking Junior and his friends to school. I think RTA would be a good thing for Damon... doesn't he know thats where all the lil girls are ... damn he and I need to have a sit down.

CortneyGee said...

like the morning musings... can't wait till next Monday

dc_speaks said...

Cortney...that is a horrible thng to say. F them what am I going to do with you?

lol@him knowing where the girls are...yeah he knows where everyone is...he's too damn nosey.