Wednesday, June 6, 2007

I pleads the fifffffths---Repost. A Fave!!!

I am plagued with the duty of bringing yet another controversial topic to the family....smile!

I really am torn apart when it comes to this query that I am going to share with ya'll. I have found myself in the hot seat. Why do you ask? I'll tell you.

Have you ever had someone ask you a question and the answer to that question would have fugged them up if you told them the truth? You knew in your heart of hearts that they couldn't handle it, so you decided to lie instead. I'm forced to recall a situation with a friend of mine regarding a woman that he was dating. My friend asked me (in an approval-seeking manner) how I thought his girlfriend looked to me. Now in reality, she was ugly as hell to me and I really didn't think that was going to work, so I said she was fine and that he was lucky to get her. He smiled and agreed saying, "yeah I was". Since I know that brotha doesn't read blogs, I'm cool with sharing his story. I was also forced to lie about my ex-wife's cooking once or twice. Now you tell me...was telling her, "naw baby, that wasn't really too good" going to work out the next time I rubbed up against her trying to get some action??? or even said "how's your day?"....um...NOOOOOO! So I lied about it. Since my oldest son reads my blogs, I can't share too much more about stuff at the house, but sure...I may have embellished a few things to challenge him to do better.

Now before y'all start thinking that I'm a dirty, rotten, lying bastard...let me spin this to another situation. I had a friend, a very good friend, in the hospital and the prognosis really wasn't going to be good and I was made privy to it by his mother(who lied to him before I got there)...should I have said "look dawg, you're pretty much fugged up, son?" What would that have done to his hope or help the situation?

Let's consider this question and put it to the campfire: If telling the truth will cause harm, physical pain, or endanger others..what would you do?

Though I mostly got my way out of it, I have been asked about cheating boyfriends/girlfriends, did I have sex with so and so, do you think any of my girlfriends are attractive, who was the person that I said hello to...(damn I had alot of cousins)..hahahahahah when I couldn't get out of it...and a few unmentionables.

The serious question is: when is it "OK" to tell a lie and not be punished for it? If I tell a lie to help someone, does that make me good? Better yet, if I tell a lie to get what I want, ie: BOOTY, does that make me bad?

Let's kick this around to find out. Exactly when is it socially acceptable to bust off with a lie and why are there double standards about it? Or, should we just use our constitutional right and take the 5th amendment? LOL.

Let's hear about it!!

You could be like Dave and all the evidence could be digital. In order to prove me guilty, there has to be evidence provided beyond any reasonable doubt. LOL! I needed to calm down, so I decided to end this with a little humor. Enjoy!

23 comments:

CreoleInDC said...

LOL!

If it's going to cause someone pain and it's not a BIG thing...I don't have a problem with lying. Ask me if you're ugly and I'll never tell you unless I don't like you and you have ugly WAYS. But if you're a good person inside...I'd lie under threat of torture. Why? Cuz that's just not right to do. You should be a good person as much as you can.

My best friend and I are BRUTALLY honest with each other to the point where we can get mad and don't wanna play no mo. LOL! Because of this...I never ask a question I'm not ready for the answer to and vice versa. When he finally got around to asking me did I like his now ex-girlfriend I had no problem telling him....HELL NO. THAT HEFFA WAS UGLY INSIDE AND OUTSIDE. SHE IS JUST...EWWWWWWWWWWWW....DEF NOT ONE OF US!

His answer? Well...I asked. ROFL!

Great post!

Anali said...

I really try to be honest and when people ask me a question, but I know they don't want to hear the truth, I tell them that I'd rather not answer the question, or I don't know, or I'll just look kind of puzzled or change the subject or ask another question. I really try to avoid the lie without having to be too harsh. If I get pushed, then unfortunately my face will usually tell the answer! I've been told I have an extremely expressive face!

dc_speaks said...

hey creoleindc aka my acquired big sister...thanks for being so honest. I know that trying to protect someone is difficult when the truth can't always be sugar coated. thanks for being the first too. I think Shai normally beats everybody to it.

Hi SHai

Anali: thanks for being a new reader and commenting. if you're able to change the subject, you're a good one. I have very direct friends that hound me for the specific answer and will absolutely not let up til they get "an" answer. If you can use your face, i'm jealous.

ok peeps...I'd love to hear from more of you.

Lance said...

YO NIGGA, YOU GETS THE GAS FACE!!!!

(8-B ....ROFLMAO!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Please read LO's lastest post very interesting and orginal. Also follow up in the comment section, interesting comments in there.

Mega Rich said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bklyn Diva said...

Whew.. DC you sure YOU WASN'T AT MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT???

I had this conversation because my friend is dealing with a break up and she or he didn't really want to end the relationship but she felt she had to because of his infidelity.. it wasn't the first time he strayed and his response was it has nothing to do with you its me.. I am afraid to fully committ to you and when my friends rag me on being "whooped" I just go see what I can do.. if I still got it.. nothign more than that.. I always come back home.. but this time she decided that coming home wasn't good enough and she left but is going crazy.. I think he was right in telling her the truth because he allowed her to make a decision rather than how he handled things in the past of constantly lying..


life of death situation.. I would plead the 5th though.. and enjoy their final days with them..

now on da looks.. I'm sorry my face will tell it all.. don't ask if you cute or ugly cause before my mouth opens my face will tell it!

great post!

dc_speaks said...

lol@bkln diva...too funny!

mark said...

Brotha DC I would trust your jugment in such a matter of knowing when to tell someone the truth and when not to tell them the truth. because I am not exactly sure when a lie is ok and when it is not ok.

I am deffinately sure of this honesty is not the best policy all of the time which further means honesty is not the best policy. No doubt thier are times and relationships where it would be best to be honest most of the time but not in every situation.

Here are some of my reasons why.

IF a thug comes to a persons door and the parents know hes trouble and has been threatning thier son they may say my son aint here and I aint seen them.

If the bill collector or rent man calls and one of the children picks up the phone for mama, when the child walks into the othe room the mother instructs the child to tell the person on the other line to say she aint here.


If a guy who is abusive towards a mans daughter is at the door looking for the her the father may tell the man his daughter aint here.

When the police roll through looking for someones son the whole family may say they aint seen him even though the son is hiding in the closet in the back room.

And deffinately many, many lies where told to the massa during plantation days just not to be whipped.

At work when the ladies come in dressed up all of them might not be lookers but you flirt with them all the same even the ones who arent lookers you tell them how good they look anyway.

When you negotiate for houses or if your buying a new car lies are told by both parties.

Or what if a women was burned on over 90 percent body, what if it happended the day her sister was going to spill the beans about the womans cheating husband, now the brother has no idea that his wifes sister is going to spill the beans that night but when she gets to the hospital thier is the man bieng thier for his burned in everyway talking to the doctors, comforting his wife, telling her everything will be alright and that she is still beautiful.

Now even though the wifes sister was going to spill the beans on her husband that night under those circumstances should the wifes sister tell the wife that the husband is cheating.

Or what about when your planning a suprise party/celebration for grandma/whomever and you have to get them to go to show up at a place where everyone is assembled. Thier is a lot of deception and lying going on in those types of sitiuation and I dont see to much wrong with.

I guesse generally speaking if your lying to cheat, rob, harm or hurt someone then I think its wrong to lie.


Sorry about this long comment dc goodmorning to you and to all of the other commentators.

dc_speaks said...

good morning, Mark. I don't mind long comments. It makes it more engaging. I thank you for the examples and the time to write them out.

I appreciates it, sir.

ja stu sister lock journey said...

Since I read your blog , I have been thinking how do I really handle such situations? I try not to put myself in any such situations, you see I have a lot of control or I try to be frank about what people who ask my opinion need to hear.I try not to hurt peoples feelings,as you know sometimes the truth hurts.What can I tell you.(YOU HAVE ME THINKING MON)

Bklyn Diva said...

Ummm what's with the random anonymous post? WTF

can we engage in a thought provoking conversation with a lil humor??? *sucks teeth and rolls my eyes*

dc_speaks said...

of course we can...

chokkklitsoul said...

in my opinion, it's never okay to lie...but have I done it?? ABSO-FREEKIN-LUTELY!!!!!!!!!! especially when people are nice and they ask questions that I know they cant handle the truth on... If they are really and truly seeking honest advice or opinions, I tell them the truth..but an embellishment here and there...I am guilty of...I dont think it's right...nope...but hayle I aint perfect! close but not perfect! HAHAHA!!!

Jennifer said...

Ohhh dc... good question!

I'm for honesty and think going with the truth (albeit as gently as possible), it typically the best bet. However there are those times when the truth may lead to danger or destruction, and if there is ever a question, I go with... "what is in the highest good." IOW, what response will bring the most good in the particular situation.

The other thing that helps is the old golden rule... ya know...do unto others as you would have them do unto you. It is a pretty good guidline!

Great topic...

JJ

Girly_Girl said...

You know what I think:

LIE TO ME, BABY!!!

MzCoko said...

Well... the Cavs have a shot at winning... *that was a lie* lol.. but anyway.. People tell me that I'm brutally honest.. cuz I am.. if I don't like something.. I will tell you.. if you getting on my nerves... I will tell you.. and people tell me that I need to NOT be so honest but to those that know me well.. they ask me because they know I will tell them.. you look like shit today... you sound like shit (i got a couple friends that sing... if so-and-so tried to talk to such-and-such and thats yo boo.. i'll tell it if they ask even if it causes drama.. if somebody said something they probably shouldn't have said and somebody asks me about it.. i won't lie cuz I feel like you shouldn't have said it...BUT there are certain situations where I will lie to somebody...
Examples: If I notice that somebody has spent a lot of time, or put in a lot of effort... I will complement them.. "oh you look cute today" not because they look cute... cuz most of the time they don't.. but just becuz i know they put a lot of effort into whatever they did and they are itching for a complement.. or.. i don't say anything.

My Godmama's brother's son is handicapped... he's kinda paralyzed from the waste down... i think his legs just stopped developing or something.. i dont know.. he's about 15... but he's not shy and he likes talking.. so i'm talking to him at a family bbq and he's asking me advice about girls and then he asks me "Would you date me?" I mean honestly, I would not... but I lied, I said "Yeah but, you are too young for me... boy you'll get me put in jail.. holla @ me when you are legal." I'm 20.. and nobody's feelings got hurt in the process.

So.. short answer... yes. Sometimes lying is appropriate.

Blah Blah Blah said...

...Dude! Telling your boy that you didn't think his chick was hot isn't a life or death situation LOL...and honestly...I am not all that sure that he'da been all that upset.

Now...to your question... when should someone lie?
Ummma, I can't answer that. lol I can say when I lie... which is rare! Horrible memory and a penchant for not wanting to make sh!t all long and drawn out, makes me able to just say about anything. Half the time is's not in the words but in the delivery. So if you word things with some thought...then what could have been a disater is now merely a bump in the road.

Honest said...

I found your blog via Creole in DC and I have to say it's hilarious. I think it depends on the person and why you're lying. Telling your boy what he wanted to hear about his girl's looks is fine. Telling a chick a lie so you can get into her draws not so good.

deepnthought said...

I dont think it is ok to lie. well, I understand the examples given. I have a few folks that I go to for the real truth. even if it hurts. I need it.I want to know the truth. I have taken a potential to a friend and asked what they thought and they say that the person was cool. then if the stuff turns bad, that same friend would say, I knew they were bad news. Well heck, if you knew then why in dhe devil didnt you tell me. see stuff like that wii get the tim straight to yo kneck. lol

dc_speaks said...

wow...ya'll comments are fantastic. Looks like most people choose to keep their options open on the scenario.

Hmmmmmm...ok

Shai said...

Hey DC, I had an early morning project that actually took all day at work. I just wanted to say hey.

I read your post after this and I was stunned at how folks can be a trip. I know your next endeavors will def be prosperous.

dc_speaks said...

thanks Shai...I know that it will as well.

much appreciated...

hey...Go CAVS!