Thursday, June 28, 2007

The most important person in the whole wide world is you!---repost



Over the weekend, I had some time to think about today's blog. Originally It was going to be a ha ha, funny type of post but before I did that...I had to clear my head on some other things. In fact, I challenge everyone to look inside themselves and learn to be happier. Let's throw this one around the campfire!

I was pondering relationship patterns of future, current and past situations. Even in the course of a recent conversation, I was told that when romance is over, How do I get past it so fast? What is the deal breaker that allows for me to push on and get past people. I had to seriously give thought to both male and female relationships. What is the cut off point? Whose fault is it? When did things change? Was it really as bad as it seemed at the time? Was that person cheating, if so..what did I do create the setting? Why me?....wasn't I good enough? Was that person immature and did I just find out too late? Did I believe that my trust was misused? Was that person just a worthless piece of sh*t? Is it worth it to maintain communication?

How does it look to my loved ones? If someone told me to beware of the relationship, would I have listened or tell them to mind their own business? Is it bad to put myself first sometimes? Or...am I just damaged goods from my last failed relationship?

The reality of having some of these questions raised regardless of whether it was a romantic involvement or with one of my boys helped me reach an epiphany. Like anyone else, I cleaned out my phone book several times over the last year. I've had some of my boys really try to do me dirty and for some reason I let some of those rotten Motherfu ****s hang around for far too long. Romantically, it was more difficult because the heart was open more and I probably didn't want to act impulsively. However, a man's got to do what a man's go to do. My Biblical teachings say to turn the other cheek and to love my neighbor, but ummmmmm...sometimes I'm admittedly not that Christ like in my approach. And, I'm certainly not claiming to be an angel or the "bad guy" on occasion, either.

This is a very touchy subject with some and may even help others. The purpose of this blog is to really get into the minds of where people are today. Single, Married, Male, Female, Heterosexual or any category....it matters not!!! It transcends romance and friendship, moving into self-awareness and introspective acknowledgment. A serious look at oneself is great therapy. I once thought that me enhancing a woman that I was dating was only going to benefit the next man. Why not? Someone is doing that for me right now and they don't even know it. We all carry a lil bit from all of our past relationships. Why hate on the guy creating my perfect fit for a woman with his bullshit? He's only helping me out! Or why not help a brotha in need and bless him for once? Maybe he will return the favor and pay it forward to someone else when/if he makes a come-up.

Lastly, make sure that you love yourself enough to let someone else love you. You deserve the very best that God has to offer you...don't you?

Here's a question: The title of this blog came from a 70's PSA, but "Who is the most important person in your world?"


Who's up for the query?

18 comments:

Blu Jewel said...

It was intended for me to read this post. I usually start from top to bottom on my blog roll faves list and today I chose from the bottom to the top.

I dont know why, but I'm glad I did. I'm going through some incredible events in my life; some of which have caused me some hurt, doubt, and confusion. Fortunately, I have a great sister and bro-in-law who'll talk me off the ledge even while gently pointing out my own role in the matter. I truly appreciate that because that's what love is.

Anyhoo, in the conversation with bro yesterday, he once again told me in damn near the exact words of this post how wonderful and important I am. He reaffirmed my worth and my goodness and the trial I'm going through is about me and with my support system, I'll get through it. The issue is not longer a "me" matter, it's a "we" matter. How awesome is that.

Thanks for this post and for bringing a smile to my face this morning.

Keelah said...

That-post-IS-AWESOME!

dc_speaks said...

good morning ladies...

thank you both for stopping by my lil waterhole on the blogospere.

@blu jewel: your comment is so refreshing to read. this is why i blog. at the time that i wrote this blog, that is exactly how i was feeling. we all go through these battles and I'm so glad that you have the support to remind you of whom you are and the value that you carry with them. I'm really happy for you.

@Keelah: why than kyou very much ma'am. I'm glad you felt it.

c'mon back anytime ladies..have a fantastic day.

(((hugs)))

Opinionated Diva said...

You are a really interesting guy. I don't think I've ever EVER heard a guy say in a positive way, "I once thought that me enhancing a woman that I was dating was only going to benefit the next man."

Honestly...I didn't think men cared about enhancing a woman for the next man. Oh they wouldn't mind reaping the benefits from their predecessors but to think about the next man...very surprising.

Ticia said...

Morning!!

Well, after being in a long fucked up situation for almost 6 years...I just had to let it go--- I went through A LOT--do you get me, A LOT--for than what an sane person would have allowed. I lost friends, loved ones didn't understand, my attitude was horrible..I didn't even like me....it was a hard thing I went through all in the name of love---and it turns out, looking over it--he loved, cared, or respected me....maybe the whole 6 years was a delusion... BUT GOD--- a situation had taken place and from that, I had to change my mind...and love me first and put God first in all my decisions. I was out of control in my feeling and emotions. I deglected myself, and my self esteem was lowered. Now that its been one year out of the mess, I am a different person.... I have grown in leaps and bounds and God has set me free, delivered and redeemed me of my past.... Now I am learning how to be open and possibly love (for real this time) again. I know my worth, and I understand who I am... that I deserve the best, because I do give my best. Since I have made these changes I am mos def a changed person and I put me first in all situations.

Opinionated Diva said...

hi five to Ticia!

dc_speaks said...

hey op diva and ticia...

hi five to ticia indeed.

@op diva: it wasn't that i was exactly honorable when I always thought that. I knew in my heart that when the relationship was over that i didn't want them to get nothing out of it. I put one ex thru cosmo school and helped several other people with various business and such.

@ticia: I'm honored that you shared that info on the blog and proud of your growth. Keep going, girl and keep giving Him the praise for it.

Ms. Behaving said...

This is a great post DC!!!
JUST G-R-E-A-T...

It's just what I needed to read at a time in my life where things are SO confusing.

Thanks for the food for thought...

Ticia said...

Thanks..I need a damn editor--- LOL---but I am sure you know what I meant....

and it turns out, looking over it--he *didn't* love, care, or respect me....maybe the whole 6 years was a delusion...

Let me tell you it was hard...
But, hell its was too much-- I want a real man to love all parts of me-- I want the real thing--- I know the Lord loves me so I know he is going to give me exceeding above and beyond what I can think or imagine

Tasha said...

It took me a long time to get to the point where I loved myself enough to let someone else love me. Love was such an ubiquitous term and feeling, and I didn't realize that I had so much to do with someone else loving me.

I figured you had to suffer in order for the love to be considered real. I allowed myself to be the literal and figurative whipping post for a man, and I thought because he said those three words, everything would be ok.

My self-esteem and sanity were basically non-existent, and it wasn't until I looked at myself in the proverbial mirror that I realized that I was worthy of more. So I got to the point where I love myself enough to let the right people in and let the right people love me, and keep the wrong ones out. It's truly been an epiphianic experience.

dc_speaks said...

hey ms b: thanks ma'am

@tasha: outstanding feeling ain't it. Get it, girl!!

KIKI said...

Ok...just a quick fly-by comment. Posted more than enough about my relationships so not going to go there right now.

Let me just say, that I now know me self-worth I do deserve better than what I've settled for in the past. My only concern right now is my happiness...too often we stick around trying to please or make someone else happy...from here on out it's all about Me, Me, and Me!

Good post(re-post), son!

JustMeWriting said...

the most important person is ME, ME, ME...lol. Well my babies then Me, since my Lord don't count.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

You are truly something. I am loving your post today. I must say I have been in relationships (platonic and romantic) when I knew I should have left but stayed around. I stayed way too long.

I am not a quitter and I think one of the reasons I stayed in those bad situations was because I wanted to give it time to work itself out. I didn't want to feel I gave up too easily. I'm a fighter for what I feel strongly about.

I also think the other reason I stayed was because I didn't want to be alone. This is the one that will get you everytime.

I have done a lot of introspective soul searching and realized I love who I am. Loving yourself is the key.

dc_speaks said...

@kiki: claim it, girl. get yours!

@JMW: yeah, i believe that. we already knew that the Lord and kids weren't included.

@the diva: I'm glad that you loved it. It was a lot of me in it and writing from the heart is quite cleansing.

tAnYeTTa said...

you said: A serious look at oneself is great therapy.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

I needed to read this today.

CreoleInDC said...

Yup...it's me. :)

dc_speaks said...

@TAnyetta: kewwwwwwwwwwwwwwl...lol!

@big sis: yep, you are.