Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Remote Control Relationship...pt 1(A)

Hey, fam. Part one of this series focuses on the factors that allow for men and women to exert their will over their mate. It will discuss a few of the methods used by some to keep people "in line" even when they aren't in their presence.

We can highlight the obvious on both sides of the fence and then delve a little more into the not so obvious.

Some of the best ways to exert control is by focusing on two powerful emotions: Love and Fear.

If I use the example that is heavily quoted in today's society "Would you rather be loved or feared"...A Bronx Tale, the significance of that line is shocking to the core and that is a prime example of how remote control is exerted.

1. Fear of loss: people will do strange/accept things when they fear being alone

2. Loves Looks: people will compromise themselves over and over again if they feel that their mate is too attractive to let them go.

3. Fear of physical: people will certainly cut short everyday living situations for fear of a physical confrontation

4. Love the attention: people will be so accustomed to getting the attention that they don't want to be ignored.

There are so many examples and I just used these 4 because they are easy to use. All of these feelings can cause a person to be "controlled" by their significant other even if time elapses or a person even moves out of town. The feelings of guilt/shame or just starting the dating game over again makes some people feel trapped and they can't get out...thus they are now being "remotely controlled."

The purpose of these posts are to recognize the patterns and give ourselves a fighting chance at falling back in love with ourselves. Not being defined by what another individual's influence over us projects, but by knowing and loving whom we are.

This is part 1(A) of a series on the remote control relationship bandit patterns. Stay tuned for regular updates.

It is extremely important that we not only change the channel of behavior, but that we also grab the remote and shatter it into millions of pieces...before we simply fade to black...

Anyone care to shed some additional light? The floor is yours.

20 comments:

Lo said...

*shaking my remote, wondering why it isn't working*

dc_speaks said...

hahahahaha...ur remote doesn't work with the new model.

change the batteries. you never know.

CortneyGee said...

smile good post Damon.. funny quip Lo.I never use a remote .. choke chains work so much better ...

Lo said...

ROFL!!! ROFL!!! ROFL!!! ROFL!!!

CortGizzle, I just laughed so hard, I almost gagged. U's a stone-cold fool.

Nic said...

Umm, very interesting post. I don't have any answers, but I am interested to see what everyone else has to say.



Hi erbody :)

Girly_Girl said...

I'm not allowed to touch the remote control.

dc_speaks said...

hahahaha...ya'll are all too damn funny.

@Cort: for some reason, I kinda believe you aren't exactly joking...LOL!!

@Lo: did you change the battery yet?

@Nic: nothing to say? well what if I told you that let's see---gettin someone worked up about a "possible" jump off is a remote control...hahahahaha

@Saadia: You run your home with an iron fist...except for the kids of course....puh lease. who are you trying to kid?

JustMeWriting said...

LOL @ cort on that choke chain comment...LOL. what a shame he so silly.
um...I'm not really sure where to put this, but jealousy...seems to work wonders on so many. When a mate asks as if they're jealous for whatever reason...it seems to delight their partner into controlled submission. That's a biggy around town. lol.

dc_speaks said...

oooooh, T. You spoiled the surprise. LOL...I was going to deal with that one next...but you are so right. it is a system of control that directly attacks the self esteem and value that one has on themselves relative to their mate.

EXCELLENT COMMENT!!!

deepnthought said...

good post.

Ms. Behaving said...

This is a great post!! I'm so looking forward to reading more about it.

BTW, I never have any batteries around so my remote is pretty much good for nothin' :-D

JustMeWriting said...

OOOOHHHH...SHUCKS...LOL...SORRY, BUT it's soooo deep...It'll take a whole post.

Blu Jewel said...

people settle and all too often that leads to some pretty ugly consequences.

the red light comes on, but we make excuses for it and forge on. the red light comes on again, and again it's ignored. it's not until the red light comes on and stays on that we suddently take notice.

people need to stop ignoring the things that they know in their gut is wrong and do something about it. i'm sorry, some man slapping me around and calling me out my name isn't love. i dont care if we've got 8 kids to care for. that is NOT love.

great and interesting post.

dc_speaks said...

hey Blu...you brought up a great point about the lights. in a car, if the red light comes on, we are supposed to get it checked out. if its a traffic signal, then red light means stop.

unfortunately when it comes to the physical, Blu. The fear of getting beat down worse or killed keeps people in line severely. Great comment!!!

Hey Deepnthought and Msbehaving. Ya'll is too kind for stopping by my spot. thank you thank you.

lisa q. said...

wow! absolutely fabulous post and idea! i will definitely tune back in to read the rest of your posts on this topic...

i have some experience in this area as my ex-husband was a master controller...it took me a long time to realize just how much he had controlled and manipulated me even to the point that i lost myself for a period of time...in fact, i just published this article on the topic...you are providing a great service here my friend! :)

dc_speaks said...

Lisa...that was an anazing article..Everyone should hit that link if you are on this page...you need to read it.

wow...thank you for sharing that and revealing it in such an endearing format. I shall certainly do my best to do the topic justice.

CreoleInDC said...

What is this controlling that you speaketh of?

dc_speaks said...

you're out of control, Monica. hahahahahahaha

Vickie said...

Great post Damon, tell me more, tell me more...you know i just wrote about a situation on my blog, which i'm sure can be used as an example of a remote controll relationship.Thanx for your comment... since schools in session Lo sit by me so we can cheat off one anothers paper. smile GEE: chains? lol

KIKI said...

I got a control situation...whats up wit MF's still trying to control you after they claim they don't want to be with you anymore. That's the ish I don't understand.

Example, gave someone my damn dog cage as a LOAN, then told me they didnt want to see me anymore around the time I got my dog, I said cool, just let me get my cage & I can push on. Instead I was told because the dog was at the vet I didn't need it right then & to call him when the dog came home...WTF is that about. You don't want to have any contact wit me but yet want to hold onto reasons to keep me calling. I have the dog...I need my cage...WTF difference did it make if the dog was at the vet or not?

Funny thing is it still didn't work...his broke ass can have it...no one is going to control me...I'd rather clean up dog shit then to deal with childish shit! SMH

Excellent post!