Sunday, June 3, 2007

The New Dawn---Repost.

My friends I have come to bear witness to a less verbalized change in the system of dating. The tides have turned! I'm going to take you on my own personal time warp.

When I was a teenager in the 80's, I was about 6'1 and very slender. Dark brown skin, big nose, and kinda shy. That definitely was not the formula to get girls to notice me other than being able to play basketball well and run fast on the track. Yet the physical appeal for the majority of the women was quite different than how I looked in my teenage years. The light complexion, grey or green eyes and wavy/perm looking hair was "in" then. Though I was a jock, I was still missing some of the attributes that attracted girls. Now don't get me wrong, not all of the young ladies were shallow like that and I was veryyyyy thankful for the girls that like the average joe's like me.

I found that I became a "good friend" or "brother" type figure to the girls that I had crushes on! Looking back...that was masterfully done! But at the time, I was taking a beating.

In the 80's, there were lots of movies where the nice guy was the friend who watched the beautiful female friend that he loved get played by dudes over and over again, to eventually ended up with the girl. WRONG!!!!!! Hollywood had me set up for failure, Jack!! That shit never happened like that in my life..yet, it made for a happily ever after romance in theory. Even shows like "Beauty and the beast" were popular and promoted that "boy I wish I could be with her" kind of thinking.

Well guess what...LOL..the joke is on the pretty boys now!! You know the ones..the ones that thought that they could skate through life because they were attractive and didn't maximize their opportunities in education or talents in athletics. I'm not hating..just keeping it real! If not for those dudes, the nice guys like me wouldn't be the "in" thing right now. I watched many hearts get broken, over and over again because women coveted that stereotype. Musicians that couldn't sing worth sh*t got over because of their "look"...Al B. Sure is top on a lot of my female friends list..LOL

It was a double edged sword to be a kid in the 80's, compared to now as a grown man. I endured quite a bit of heckling in my teen years to come back and hook up with
the prom queens down the road...(while they still looked good)!!! The tables have turned...now in the favor of the nice guys, good friends and the "oh,girl please..that's just______". By the way, I hated that shit and I know I'm not alone!!!!!!

This time around, the sincere nice guys that treat a woman with dignity, respect and become great friends, don't have to settle for being"oh, he's just a friend". We have a shot because now women think the "pretty boy's" are players because of previous experiences and even worse than that "on the down low". Or one more reason, they got their teeth kicked in by the neighborhood drug dealer whilst being the trophy girl.

It sounds different than what most of my blogs sound like, but it's just something that I had to get off of my chest.

My public service announcement!

26 comments:

UnKnownDiva said...

i agree...nice guys are definitely in!!!

Bklyn Diva said...

OMG.. ok I can't stop laughing at this!!! it's like I just gave this speech to one of my guy friends.. LMAO.. u ain't getting nobody cause you too pretty LMAO..

glad I was never dat chick.. I always learned to go with the ones that treated you best.. as long as I could look at him.. who cared what everyone else thought!

CreoleInDC said...

Are you fishing for compliments? Heck...you know you're handsome. LOL!

dc_speaks said...

noooooo...im as average as they come. Trust and believe...my woman will tell ya, I consider myself the average looking guy(in appearance)and just like being the nice guy...

but thanks anyway....I do appreciate a compliment here and there.

dc_speaks said...

hey diva ladies...how was ya'll weekend?

thanks for coming in and commenting early.

Shai said...

I have always liked nice guys. LOL. In high school, I did not like the bad boys like my friends did. SMH. Sadly, quite a few of the nice guys I knew growing up got edgy some even turned to bad ways after getting burned.

Royce's Daughter said...

Good post! The reverse is also true now though. Light-skin women dont seem to be getting the same kind of attention as back in the day. Even in the fashion world your beginning to see an abundance of beautiful dark skin sistahs. Altough I am light myself I cant hate, I am proud to see that we as a community are breaking away from the colorwashing we've been brainwashed to believe in. At the end of the day I just want to experience life with a black man who loves and respects me and I him...I PREFER that he be of the darker hue LOL, but I am open to whatever colored blessing God brings my way...

dc_speaks said...

I thank you for your comments Shai and royces daughter.

I witnessed that at a play last month too (RD)...it was the love in the nick of tyme play and there was a fair and a chocolate sistah confrontation going on and the whole crowd was cheering for the chocolate sistah...I was like wow..this is interesting.

Ms. Behaving said...

LOL. Glad you got that off your chest!

I totally feel you on this post. Although I'll have you know I was NEVER into the pretty boy type myself.

I was fortunate enough to learn early on to go with my heart...**surely I got the bad end of the stick from friends who thought everyone just HAD TO HAVE a "pretty boy" but that's how things were back then**.

I'm sure alot of woman are sitting around today thinking about those "nice guys" they once overlooked...

nic said...

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I mean I can appreciate your love for the Cavs but damn! LOL!
This was a nice change of pace.

Why did I imagine you wispering the "on the down low" part. Ha!

dc_speaks said...

I don't know if i would whisper it...I think I would shout to the Heavens...

calm down on the change of pace lil lady, I'm proud of my hometeam.

LOL@u thanking me for the change of pace.

chokkklitsoul said...

Hey,
I can really really relate to this post....*hanging head in shame* I was the chic with the fione azz dude that ended up to be worthless...it took a few bumps on my head and a few hurt feelings on my part, to realize no matter how the outside of the package looks what's inside is what's most important....Lucky for me, I have been blessed with a fione azz light skinned green eyed dude thats smart, witty, and loves me well!!! This was an excellent post DC!!!

dc_speaks said...

wow...thanks for the comment and the honesty chokkklit

dc_speaks said...

oh and congrats to you too...let me know if he's ever in Cleveland or Ohio...if I can help another brotha out...im down with it.

the funny thing about this whole issue with me is th tI have a mother that is light skinned with green eyes and I'm a wonderful hershey brown.....yayyyyy for me!!

Lo said...

I've had all kinds. That doesn't mean I've had a lot. I tend to avoid the pretty boy types (although for whatever reason, those tend to be the ones who step to me most), because historically, for me, they've been way more trouble than they're worth and expect to get by on good looks alone, which makes them verrrrrrry unattractive to me.

I've always just wanted a good man with a good heart, good intentions, honest, fair, strong ambitions, and self-motivation who was a true partner, not just looking at me to carry everything (there's a lot of that out there). Someone I can grow and build with. If he's easy on the eyes (complexion not being a factor), then that's gravy.

Looks like I lucked out.

dc_speaks said...

*ahem**

luck had nothing to do with it. smile!!!

Sojourner G said...

Tellin' my story man!

Girly_Girl said...

I am not even going to comment. I remember what happened last time on this post...my BROTHER outed me!!!

dc_speaks said...

lol@Saadia. Sayeed became my hero when he busted you in your less than honest remark.

but you can always comment.

I see you kept the Prom Queens Unite line and put it in your book. I must say that I felt a certain sense of joy to see that in your book.

My blog post inspired something cool...yayyy

dc_speaks said...

what up soj...thats alot of our stories brah...a lot. you are in good company indeed.

Go Cavs!

Shai said...

OK, DC and Lo, yall are getting sappy by the minute. I know I am new to the fam but where did I miss you two's vibes. LOL.

It is all good and I wish the best for yall. LOL.

KIKI said...

Been a busy day for me, so I'm a little late joining in...but after reading all the comments all I can say is I ditto Lo...that's all I'm askin...don't really matter what you look like if you have those other qualities. Hell, we can work on the looks after WE make our money...what do you think plastic surgeons & physical trainers are for?...LOL!

j.a.c. said...

lol. i had to laugh on this one. i just had this convo not too long ago with another one of my friends who just happens to be a fellow blogger. check it out... http://daneger06.blogspot.com/2007/05/partner-to-play-spades-with-cards-upall.html

dc_speaks said...

thank you...that was great. a brotha from anotha motha indeed

ja stu sister lock journey said...

Let me be honest I thought u are good looking when I looked at your photo, thats y I really checked your blog, and have found out that ur are not only good looking but tall.WOW.I know ur taken but I cant pass a good looking tall man without looking.lol.

dc_speaks said...

lol..thank you very much...

im blushing and yes i'm taken. thank you so much for coming around and please...read away. you may really want to make sure tha tyou are around on a friday for my potluck friday posts.