Friday, May 11, 2007

Pot Luck Friday...Part VII

Dis shole duz look good!

This forum is officially a smash hit. I am excited to present once again POT LUCK FRIDAY.

What I would like to do is get some feed back from some non blogging readers or some bloggers that don't have the time to blog right. An open forum or a wish list if you will. For example, the "Stop Snitching" theory being taught to our kids or how current employers use sites like myspace as a screening tool to weed out potential employees.

There is no topic off limits! I know that relationship posts are common but be more specific. What element of the relationships? Finding one, keeping one, how to get out of one..all are up for discussion and friendly debate.

I am an information junkie! Garbage in--garbage out! But, I still like to process information. So, I'd like to try to start a day where the readers are in control of every single question, we take the comment that is posted right before you, answer their comment question, then post your own question for the next person. We can discuss it in a civil manner. If it goes well, then it could be really fun.

Have a fantastic weekend and let's come up with some great questions to kick around the campfire!

So without further delay.....who is up for the challenge, part 7?


Stephen Bess said...

The food looks really delicious! I saw you at Mat Johnson's website. This is a cool spot you have here. By the way, this "don't snitch" thing is being re-taught to our children because we were taught the same things growing up in the 70s and the 80s. The difference is that it was within a neighborhood or group in the neighborhood. Now, it's taught via the media and web. There is just a great deal of madness going on in the black community. It's complete madness under the guise of "mainstream" or "pop-culture." I feel that the black community needs to consult with it's elders. Some of the elders need to hold some classes or rap sessions on manners, common courtesy, and what it means to be a true community. We've lost much of our very basic values. We need to get back to basics.

Shai said...

Hey Stephen part of the rules here on Potluck Friday is to end your post with a question. If you come back you must answer a question and end your post with a question.

I agree we need elders to teach. We also need elders to be open to learning to, if not the kids won't listen.

Why is it some elders don't want to learn new things?

CapCity said...

Shai, I've heard that some people (old & young) don't like change. I get frustrated by YES:-) Black people who look at the foods I choose to eat (primarily vegetarian - will dabble in fish occasionally) & actually have the nerve to say to me: We've been eating this (traditional pork laden soulfood) way all these years - why U got to change? Arrrrgggghhhh! How many more of us need to suffer from high blood pressure and other ailments that have been PROVEN to be food related before we'll begin to take control of our eating habits and make positive changes?

Shai said...

I agree yound and old don't like change. I just was thinking about how I worked with some older folks who didn't like taking directions from younger people. SMH. And you know what some of them messed up.

Growing up sometimes it amazed me how some elders acted like they knew everything and were without flaws. My grandma was fussing one day saying how a marriage counselor at her church was offering services and my grandma said how can a woman married less years than her tell her anything. I tried to tell my grandma that age and time is not an indicator of wisdom and experience. She was not having it. LOL.

I am more open to learning so to act like I know everything someone younger cannot teach me is stunting my growth.

What area in your life is challenge and you are either stubborn or afraid to change it?

CapCity said...

Shai, I LOVE learning from youngsters - and they get the biggest kick out of teaching others (especially those older than they are:-). In my teaching career I always allowed my students the opportunity to teach the class - initially, it started out to save me some energy - but it turned out to be a GREAT "fluke" and I incorporate it in lessons that I do even when just consulting!

My biggest challenge area = asking for help & allowing others to DO for me - especially's a process this learning to let go:-)

My questions -
1) where IS everyone - is it going to be just me & Shai having a conversation? LOL!

2) What changes are u making in your eating/health habits to improve yourself & how hard is it for u to make those changes?

JustMeWriting said...

stephen bess: you hit the nail on the head with "I feel that the black community needs to consult with it's elders". The biggest problem with that issues is the elders have been drowned by so many of these nonsensical behaviors that even they've seem to have forgotten...or become numb by fear of speaking out against these issues, but that's the ideal think to do...let's round them up fella and get things under way.

Caps question: I look at the Nutritional Value of pretty much everything. I've also started using more olive oil in my cooking...I use 1% milk and whole grain bread..and I just joined the gym...the cardio is KILLING ME (that's the hardest thing for me)

my question: If you were a color...what would it be?

Shai said...

CAP: I have an issue with love and being open/vulnerable.

As for health, I am not doing as well as I could. I have cut down on fast food and coffee. I have yogurt or cereal for breakfast instead of a donut/coffee. I bring my lunch when I can. I just don't drink enough water. I do take multi-vitamins. I don't walk like I used to.

JMW: I would be my fav color is black.

KIKI said...

Hey er' forgot to ask a question...tsk tsk

Have you ever ended a relationship, romantic or platonic, that you regret?

Shai said...

Kiki: I have to say I regret how I acted in a relationship that eventually ended. It was meant to end, he wanted to be free. I used to blame myself for him leaving then I realized he strung me along knowing how dedicated I was.

OK, my question: I read a quote about never taking more love than you give. So is it love if one person stops giving and only takes?

CapCity said...

my own question:-) - i drink more water, write what i eat & the challenge is making myself wkout 3 or more times each week.

JMW - I AM the color BLACK;-)

Kiki - I regret most of 'em at the time I end 'em...until i realize things happen as they should. LOL!

Shai - I don't EVER regret loving even if the reciever is too sick to appreciate it. I don't think that negates the love given (but I try to be more aware in future relationships - hence my latest hesistancy w/ jumping into new ones).

New ? - What are your greatest GOALs/Dreams for this life?

Mine = to publish book(s) & to visit Africa - especially Doors of No Return...

CapCity said...

Kiki - u forgot to answer...tsk!

dc_speaks said...

hey ya'll..sorry i'm late to my own party.

"OK, my question: I read a quote about never taking more love than you give. So is it love if one person stops giving and only takes?"

then it's not love if they stop giving. Love is an action word that forces movement. excellent question.

Question: If you give 100% in a relationship, are you still yourself or are you just a shell of who you were?

Shai said...

My dreams are: publish books(poetry/novels), set up a scholarship, travel the world, find real love, have an awesome relationship w/God and live peacefully.

What was the best moment that ever happened in your life?

dc_speaks said...

btw...welcome stephen..thanks for stopping in today.

@Shai: thank you for moderating this morning.

@Shai: I agree with Cap...People don't like change much at all.

@Cap: Excellent question, nutritional facts are teaching and attributing health problems to food all the time, but again...people like what they like and have the mindset that "it ain't killed them yet"

Shai: I'm too cocky(stubborn---not fear)

@Cap: wont be just you and shai...I have a mother that has high blood pressure that I cook for on the regular and a son that likes to eat a lot of foods high in sugars and sodium...I cook differently and I bake far more than fry food. I also buy like rice cakes and more fruit.

JMW: My color would be is majestic

@KiKi: Hell no! I don't look would hurt too much

KIKI said... bad Cap LOL!

"If you give 100% in a relationship, are you still yourself or are you just a shell of who you were?"

I think that we walk away with a part of us missing, & something else replaces it, good or bad (bitterness, a stronger desire for what we didn't get)...

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?

dc_speaks said...

I'm trying to play catch up..

dc_speaks said...

Brazil is my fave place in the world so far...but I am really goign to have to visit Sri Lanka

again for me---Question: If you give 100% in a relationship, are you still yourself or are you just a shell of who you were?

Shai said...

If I give 100% of myself, parts of me will be given away not all.

If I could anywhere in this world, it would be in Hawaii with my mate.

Based on JMW's latest blog, I thought of this one: Would you go on a blind date or set one up with your single friends?

CapCity said...

DC - I only know how to give 100% - even when i think i'm not i tend to be a BIT much for a Brother:-). I don't think my 100% is bad, i'm learning to discern who's up for the challenge called me:-).

Shai - i've been on many blind dates, some good, some not so great. I've also introduced 2 couples who are now married:-).

Kiki - I want to travel to many countries in Africa (& see if I'll 'feel' where I'm from:-)!

CapCity said...

Oh, my question - WHERE's Girly-Girl, MizRep & Sheletha? LOL!

KIKI said...

My own question...I'm with you Cap...I'm determined to go to Africa one day...see where my people came from.

Shai...never been on a blind date, but if it is set up by someone who REALLY knows me & my taste in men, I'd probably go. And yes, seet up several friends on blind dates who are all now marreid (seems like I'm good at finding husbands for everyone but myself...SMH).

Question...with the firing of Imus, and the new no-smoking ban, seems like we're not so much a country of freedom after-all. Is the US on it's way to becoming a communist country?

Shai said...

Kiki, I think we are just going through phases I don't think we will turn communist.

Are we as Americans too greedy?

CapCity said...

Sistah Kiki - in the words of Langston Hughes: "We build our temples for tomorrow, as strong as we know how and we stand on the top of the mountain, free within ourselves."
THAT's our only FREEDOM in my humble opinion..

And on that note - have a great Weekend & week everyone! won't leave a question cuz i won't be able to read the answers..I gots places to go:-).

Shai said...

I was over at CG's blog and his recent post is about Usher firing his mom.

Would you fire you mom as manager of your business if things were not working out?

mark said...

" again for me---Question: If you give 100% in a relationship, are you still yourself or are you just a shell of who you were? "

mark bey: What's up DC interesting topic for a post.

My answer would yes if you recieved the same back in turn.

Now if you are giving 100% percent and she/he is only giving 30% then I supposed anyone can get burnt out.

Give and take is the basis for all rewarding relationships in my oppinion.

Its like if you meet a women you really like and for everytime you call her 3 times she calls you once and displays a casual attitude towards you when you are feeling her and trying to build an understand between you and her.

Also the only way you become a shell in my opinion is if you were leading with your heart and the other person is casual in how they respond to you or completely dogs you. Now this can have a long lasting impact on an individual if they are bitter because they feel like they got a raw deal but I dont know if I would say one would be an empty shell because of giving 100% in a relationship because every person is an ongoing project meaning we are everything we have seen, smelled, heard ect.

Also the idea of having elders play more of a role in helping to reform the community is excellent.

However elders have got to be willing to learn from thier mistakes and to listen.

Now on the question of leadership how come 16 years after magic johnson announced that he got aids from straight sex the black churhc still is not leading on the aids issue?

Why is the black church still acting like aids is about bieng gay? I really wish someone would explain this one to me.

mark said...

"Would you fire you mom as manager of your business if things were not working out? "

mark bey: If mom wasnt qualified she would not have been hired in the first place.

Shai said...

Mark: The Black Church really does not address sexuality as a whole. They say stay pure to the females and don't address the men so to speak. They don't address the fact that many folks are uninformed about sex education.

Why is purity always put on the woman?

JustMeWriting said...

mark: LOL... that's a cold-blooded thought and thing to fire your mom...LOL. No, I'd never fire my mom for doing a bad job running my business, but I'd have never hired her...LOL... knowing she'd probably do a bad job.

Shai: purity is put of the women because most of civilization is based on the principles of the Bible and its connotations regarding women are of such virtuous qualities.

My favorite color is Olive Green

My question: hum...I can never think of anything... LOL. In thinking about the Natural Hair issue with Police in Baltimore (they've banned 'radical' hair styles...Natural Hair styles) If you fit that description within the department...would you chang your hair or quit?

mark said...

" Why is purity always put on the woman? "

mark bey: Quite frankly because to much of the black church is full of hypocrits.

I mean after all everyone knows most folks do not wait until marriage to have sex, most black children are born out of wedlock, magic johnson announced over 15 years ago that hed gotten it from having unprotected sex and now we have an aid crisis going on.

But too much of the black church structure continues to push the fairy tale that aids is god cursing homosexuals.

Even though black children are only 13% percent of the child population they make up 67% of all children with aids and the black church still has not endorsed a policy of testing, treating and counseling about aids in the building in a serious way.

Lastly the american black population has got to share some of the blame for the failure of our leaders because they work for us and we should be watching them 24x7 and making them do what it is they are supposed to do including the church.

mark said...

"mark: LOL... that's a cold-blooded thought and thing to fire your mom..."

mark bey: JMW only if she isnt qualified, but thier would still be other oppurtunities for her to help in my career but you should keep family away from your money unless they are extremely qualified.

mark said...

Also if the black church is serious about the health of black americans then they they should jump up and down and roll on the floor in an effort to get all unmarried black americans to use condoms if they are unmarried and having sex.

Nothing else will stop the spread of aids and you cannot tell by looking at someone if they have aids or not.

JustMeWriting said...

mark: my dear dear brother, sad to's hard to get the church to do much of's begining to resemble any other structured business...seeking it's own. That's why the Bible admonishes against the wickedness plauging today's churches... "Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture!: say the Lord. Therefore thus sayd the Lord God of Israel against the shepherds who feed My people: "You have scattered My flock, driven them away, and not attended to them. Behold I will attend to you for the evil of your doings," says the Lord.

Everybody so concerned with how size of their congration or how big and glamourous their sanctuary is...they allow ALL kinds of things to take place within those sacred walls (open homosexuality being the primary)and all in the name of what is RIGHTEOUS...when most of the people don't even know the meaning of the word.

The church can't help the people get right until the church gets right with the people.

Sheletha said...


KIKI said...

Question...Sheletha where u been all day?

And by the way DC...seeing as how you're a single dad and all, puttin in work as mom & dad...Happy Mother's Day (seriously)!