Wednesday, February 7, 2007

I'll give you the me!

Space....the final frontier. The exploits of a "Real Mile(s) High Club" playa!

Ok...of course everyone knows the story of the love triangle astronaut saga...but let's put another spin on the story since I love doing that anyway. This in no way shape or form is a love triangle...she's d**k whipped! I get the infatuation with the pilot thing..."chicks love pilots". I even get the uniform thing..."chicks love a guy in uniform". What perplexes me is how sprung she got to get her to this point. She has a husband and 3 kids at home. That means her husband probably wasn't hitting right...I get that too. My point is... what could dude possibly have said or done to have her lose her mind like that? That just ain't normal!! NASA has extreme screening procedures for their astronauts...

The plotting that it took place was extremely deliberate....she even went as far as to go to the store and get some diapers....huh?!!! I guess the less stops she made, the!!

If dude comes out with a sex video on the net...I'm getting it. She drove 900 miles to confront someone that she "thought" was getting it from old boy!

Plus they said that she wore a disguise?...LOL...seriously...WTF Like she really needed to wear funny!!! I'm not even going to comment on the bb gun or the pepper spray. The rubber tubing kinda had the really freaky connotation to it, so I'll let that one go too.

This woman looks waaaay different without the glamour shot photo. As a matter of fact, I'm going to insist on seeing any woman that I ever would consider getting involved with "make up-less" I need to see what she really looks like. For just this reason alone, I'm paranoid!

I'm looking at pics of dude and thinking to myself that the average dude must be back in. I can look at another guy and say without hesitation"I'm sure women think that dude is attractive" and still hold onto my masculinity without question. This time around I asked a few women friends and they said he made the "he's o.k." list.

I have come to the conclusion that from my experiences, dude must have given her the most exciting and fulfilling orgasm of her life. On top of that, with the stars, planets and the moon as the background?! Thereby doing what no other man was ever capable of doing. Literally making her see "stars" while she was in the heat of passion. She was the victim of "extreme boning"...a sport of the 22nd century...She just couldn't handle it!!

So to sum this all up...I take my hat off to Capt. William Oefelein and present him with the "bronzed penis" award

Congratulations, sir! I saluuute you!!


Girly_Girl said...

DC--you are too funny.

On the real, though, what do you think really happened with this woman. Was she always psychotic? You would think that NASA would have known how unstable she was a long time ago!

The fact that she wore diapers on her car trip is foul.

dc_speaks said...

if they thought she was cooky...she would never have been in the program as an astronaut...he just turned her out!!

CortneyGee said...

I dont know if she was crazy or was driven to lunancy but i will say this the diapers to make it to orlando in the nick of time was genius even if it does make her the nastiest b*tch on tv of late
those broads on the desperate housewives aint got shit on her

Girly_Girl said...

What do you mean, Cortney? I love the Desperate Housewives. They're not nasty!

dc_speaks said...

lol...fight fight fight fight....i never watched the show..eva and teri and still fine though..oops did i type i said...she got turned out...people do anything when they're sprung!!!

Rich in the Stl said...

DC, I see Cort Geezy is rubbing of on you with the Bronze pic. -- You guys are killing me. I'm at work, scrolling up the page slowly and BAM! a dick jumps out at me. How do you explain that to your coworkers who sneak up from behind.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, the diapers will go a long way in her insanity plea, who does that?

dc_speaks said...

my bad rich...i had to do supported my theory of being sprung. he deserved it though. lol...i knew cortney would trip about it though..he's taking the week off of sexual content..figured since he wouldnt write any, i would pick up the slack...besides the diapers will definitely help with the insanity plea...i agree. insanely d**k whipped...hahaha he needs to come out with a video like "screech" did from saved by the bell.

Anonymous said...

Funny, funny and just plain silly. The penis award huh? Maybe you could just give the lady that award and you could have saved her all the trouble of diguises, diapers,pepper spray, and piping...let alone jail time. Every woman no matter if we have makeup on or that penis. ;o) So you can check out all you want about a future ex wife...just make sure she has her "penis" then she won't have to drive that far to make sure you aren't given it to someone else.. Simple.

dr. girlfriend said...

2 things: # 1)This woman's years in the military and NASA achievements while managing a family epitomizes strength and stability and in one fell swoop her behavior parallels that of someone psychotic. This screams of a chronic psychiatric illness such as bipolar disorder well maintained until this recent turn of events. My guess is that her psychiatric history if treated in the past would never have come into play before (discrimination, etc) if she was totally independent and functional.

#2)and most importantly- Only a man could come up with your...imaginative spin of think that the male sexual anatomy could have such a profound effect over the physical, emotional, and cognitive state of a woman is certainly the funniest thing I have read in a long time.
Especially, since we all know that only a woman could possess such power ;).... btw-thank God I did not open this at work boy--you soooo nasty!!!!!!

Khoney44310 said...

LOL! This is HIlarious! I couldn't believe this story myself when I read it. I'm thinking are you sure she's an astronaut? I wonder what tricks he's got up his sleeves. Gotta be both of them for all that!