Tuesday, February 20, 2007

the Great Debate..men vs women

I can't wait to get this off my chest...I was having a friendly, yet debate driven conversation with a good friend of mine and I just had to write about it. For the purpose of not making it too lengthy, I will just highlight my point and her point and we will see if men and women really think so differently.

Focus of the debate:Strippers and Prostitutes..Lord knows how we got on that! Probably relating to the blog I recently wrote about a Maury show I watched.

Anywhoooo..here's the short of it. She feels that the women that are prostitutes have no self love, self-esteem and don't know what they doing...based on their maturity level or what they have been exposed to. If i understood her correctly, she feels that some women are trapped because they just don't know any better. She alluded to the fact that counseling perhaps should be the approach rather than blasting them. Therapy!

ok...we really were on it weren't we? Therapy????

My point: Unless they are mentally incapable of making decisions on their own, they know exactly what they are doing and accepting their lifestyle....also just because a person perhaps was shown little love, they recognize it is so many other facets of life having nothing to do with sex, pimps, or money. We are not always products of our environments. I know some hoes and some strippers that turn tricks and some that don't! I have actually asked some of them what brought them to where they were in life. It wasn't always the runaway, sexually abusive teen that flees for her life and some pimps showed her some love crap that is glorified on tv....but real talk IE:"I f**k my man and he pays me by buying me things or giving me what I want, why wouldn't I get money from anybody I lay up with" or "my grandmother always told me, no woman has to ever be broke".....I was educated on the perception. Old school women teach other younger women that "if you got it...flaunt it"

Another friend of her's said that there is no difference between a stripper and a prostitute...based on her character, I'm sure that she vehemently argued him down on the difference. Not all strippers turn tricks to keep it simple...I said "yeah but you do have lots of them that do" Stripper's atleast hustle to get their own money!

I never claim to be an expert in psychology, but my life's experiences has taught me that eveyone has Choices. God's gift to every person is "free will"!!! We can allow ourselves to be subjugated by others, but we are still in control of giving it away. Fact remains, it is our choice ultimately!

24 comments:

Girly_Girl said...

I can't comment on this post...I'll end up offending someone, somewhere...

dc_speaks said...

lol...is that right...i always offend someone...

Girly_Girl said...

That's the story of my life!

dc_speaks said...

you offend people that regularly?...wow I can't believe that! hahahahahaha...too funny!!

dr. girlfriend said...

The psychology of the prostitute is that he or she is or has been victimized. The individual often experiences degradation and exhibits emotional distance. Although, there may be persons that don't fit this paradigm, this opinion is shared by many.

I agree that many men and women who are prostitutes lack appropriate self love and self esteem and rather than say "they do not know what they are doing" they lack introspection and deductive reasoning or insight regarding their actions. A lack of insight often is coupled with poor judgement and thus poor decisions.

I think the mindset of a stripper is quite different. I think he or she navigates his or her destiny or in other words "hustles for his or her money". That is a will of autonomy. The prostitute allows someone else to guide his or her financial affairs and choices are made on his or her behalf.

Choices and free will are anyone's God given right but not everyone understands that they are.

dc_speaks said...

damn..dr girlfriend...is this my blog or yours...hahahahaha you and i will just agree to disagree on this matter..friends right??? lol..your comment was remarkably we put together...thank you for your insight! We can argue again sometime soon! smile

the man with balls said...

Call me controversial, but....

All women have some level of ho in them. If they didn't they wouldn't use sex as a weapon to keep their man in line.

Then you have the women who are in relationships that complain or bang the next man if their dude ain't giving up the gifts and/or dollars.

I agree with you that they know what they are doing, even if they have been abused in the past. They learn very early that men like pussy, so they are just upfront about it. Give me what I want and I'll give you what you want.

dc_speaks said...

damn...actually I was going to say that "the man", but I sugar coated it a little bit. I truly appreciate that comment. Good looking out, brah!!!!!

Girly_Girl said...

MWB:

You never fail to say what I'm already thinking.

Do you miss me?

Rich in the Stl said...

I'd have to line up with everyone else and say that I agree with MWB.

By the way MWB, I see you are making the rounds today.

Mizrepresent said...

Have you all considered that some of them may just like f&^$#@! alot! And so, maybe getting paid is like winning the lottery everyday! Now, if somebody is pimping you, well, that's more like a mininum wage job to me...At least strippers get there money up front and no lime green suited pimp to deal with.

dc_speaks said...

rich and mizrepresent....your comments are well appreciated...i think im n the wrong business. I must need to get myself a lime green suit! Thanks for the idea

Kim said...

DC one thing my mother said about you that stood out for her was you are a lover of women-not speaking sexually but she said you trully appreciate all women. That impressed her greatly. Having said this I believe that if you were more emotionally invested you would see that there are various reasons for stripping and prostitutiong. Maturity level, educational background, abuse, self esteem, environment, etc. Every woman's story is different. Having a stepdaughter whose birth mother was a stripper--she was passed around as a child of a drug addicted mother and probably was sexually abused by mom's friends or various relatives. She learned early how to make money with her looks and body. All a product of her environment. As you know my story the last few weeks with your friend and talking to another stripper-another young girl going for the fast buck. Much of society views a woman by her looksa and body and until men quit paying for strippers and prostitues, many women will not stop dancing and prostituting. A vicious circle.

dc_speaks said...

ok, kim! I both agree and disagree with you..here's a thought for you...if women didn't charge for sex and strip clubs, then men couldn't pay for it. Secondly, I feel you on the young lady, I knew her story from you...BUT..she still has a choice! Why can we see so many young people from the inner city in extrememly impoverished conditions raise up and become extremely successful...

Being exposed to an environment doesn't mean that you have to take those life's lessons and learn from them

We are constantly in a teaching mode...teaching the right way and the wrong way...everyone has the option of which path to take!

Oh...ur mom is sweet! I love people...not just women! Excellent observation..give her a kiss for me. and in reference to my friend, he offered to pay her for her services and she declined...obviously, she made the choice to be the entertainer and not a prostitute..which only further proves my point!

thanks for the comment dear!

Kim said...

Yes Mom said your mother did a good job with you!
Each person is different--can't speak why some succumb to their environment and some do not--I don't know.

dc_speaks said...

wow...she's going to be an acquired mom at this rate for sure..but here's more of my point. My mother was the oldest of 8. I had 5 uncles to help shape my adolescent personality..if I would have followed in their teachings, I would be fu***d, trust and believe that. Only a couple of them are normal or considered by me to be someone that I would help influence my sons. We Learn, We Adapt, then WE Live!

Sheletha said...

It's a ni99a in a purple suit.

Riley
The boondocks

dc_speaks said...

lol...thanks for correcting us Sheletha!

CortneyGee said...

I'm not going to be right on this one ... I like hoes better than strippers. Point blank hoes fux for free strippers sell fantasy for a high azz price and don't deliver unless you are one of those dudes ( which by the way I'm always amazed by ..hheheheheheh) that can get the stripper to go home with them .
Not saying I advocate whorism just saying what i feel please forgive if Ive offended anyone .. smile !!!

lil_dj_101 said...

Okay prostitutes are different from strippers dont have sex they are only there to give a show for the brotha with the fattest wallet. Prostitutes on the other hand are paid to have sex so they are selling away there purity and there bodies for a little papah only because they are to lazy 2 get up and get a real job unless they are junkies.

dc_speaks said...

a shocking Geeism indeed!!! LOL..ur silly Cortney!

Lil dj..u sure are very aware of grown up activities...that is a bit of concern to me since ur still in high school, but im glad that ur prespective and resolve is strong.

I will only say that there are no absolutes(EXCEPT DEATH)..every story has a beginning, middle and an end! shaping the mind and excercising good judgement is only one of a myriad of possibilities in every person's life

cyn said...

Ok Dc I am lost on this one.Now I know the subject is ho's and strippers. but the great debate men vs women? Are you refering to men n women life styles or to see what the men n women that r friends have to say on hos and stuff?I willcommenton the subject at hand.I feel It is a womans choice to do as she will with her body.I dont condom it.But to each his own.I just say wrap it up AIDS is a bad mother f*ka.With a hooker you know what they are out there for money or drugs.A stripper will sell you a dream and when asked why do you strip \the number one reason is "oh i am putting myself through colledge" haha go back 5 yrs lata and she will still be stripping.because last time i checked they do have grants for school.Look if ya strip say you love the money and to show off ur body.And strippers all sell the butt for the right amount.What do you think the vip rooms are for.Private dances pfft.

dc_speaks said...

lol...when I say debate...I know that women think differently than men do...trying to stir up what and how we think differently, cyn...

thanks though..keep on readin

KIKI said...

Bottom line...people are gonna do what they want to do. I've met a prostitute or two in my lifetime, and when the issue of why they do what they do comes up, they're response is "I like sex, why not get paid for it?" Maybe I'm crazy, but makes since to me. I've always been told you should pick a career that, not only pays well, but that you also enjoy.

Hell, the more I think about it...f*ck the insurance business. I'm relocating to Amsterdam hehehehe.