Cheating..Part II

Ok, ya'll. Now that we established that cheating in relationships is held to a higher degree of punishment based on the marital status, let's dig in a little bit deeper.

In the part I segment, I spoke of men/women cheating and I believe we all learned some pretty interesting persepctives about how that situation could be dealt with. But, let's take the physical out of the equation. Let's focus purely on the emotional and mental.

Lend this to you your imagination:

You're in a relationship---not yet married--maybe even co habitating and there is an absence of something in the relationship that you have expressed to your mate that is unsatisfying to you. Try as you might, he/she just won't accomodate your desires. In your frustration, you let off a little steam with a co worker that has availed themself as a friend in the time of trouble, to lend an ear. You always had heard that the best source of information about the other sex is a friend of the other sex. So you ask him/her a hypothetical question because either you feel safe with them or you think they will be honest with you. Or perhaps your biggest issue with your mate is...they don't listen to you anyway. Biggg problem for most of my peeps relationship and marital concerns. So now you expose a deep secret to a person that will listen. A desire or maybe even fetish that has gone on unexplored with your mate. The friend listens, doesn't judge you and provides sound advice. It doesn't matter what it is. If they listened to you and that was your problem with your mate, then a new object of affection emerges from the disclosure. In all actuality a new relationship is birthed in that moment.

Several debates have arisen over cheating in the mind. Biblical teachings say that lusting in the mind is a sin just as with the body. So here is where the debate gets a little fuzzy. If you have a friend and that individual takes up time of yours in a non sexual environment. ie: shared lunchtime, regular casual conversations, a confidante, or a crush. Do you think you are cheating? If you spent a dime on that person, knowing that you would have sex with them, but you haven't...are you cheating? If you speak to that person past daytime hours and that individual is the last engaging conversation that you have before you go to bed and you get the warm fuzzies about them...are you cheating. If you just lust after them, can't do the do because they are hooked up...but if they would let you...you would do the do---are you cheating?

Cheating is in the mind is just as horrific as in the body. A comment in the part I segment forced this variation into the spotlight. Men cheat in the body! There is no doubt about it. And yes, sometimes in the mind. However, cheating in the mind is more of a passing thought like"yeah, i would love to f**k her". For the most part, if we don't think we could actually do it, it becomes a turn off and we may label the woman as a tease, a lesbian or frankly just call her a "bit*h to rationalize it in our minds why we can't "hit it". Purely for ego purposes, it may be wrong but thats just how it is. Now women cheat in the body as well, though apparently not as much as men. BUT..women cheat in the mind far more than men do. Women create relationships with other men, giving of the intimacies in conversation and sexual thoughts because they are the more romantic of the sexes.

Let's kick this around the campfire!

Ladies, did you really think that just because Johnny didn't hit it--that you weren't cheating? Did you really believe that going to sleep and pondering the thoughts of how another man made you feel during the day or in the last conversation wasn't cheating? Didn't you know thinking of someone else during intimacy with your mate was cheating? Did you know that imagining scenarios was cheating? Also--didn't you know that opening up too much to a bisexual or gay woman helps ease you into that lifestyle too?

I put men on blast in my blogs alot. Now women ya'll gots to keep it real and realize that everyone is a cheater at some point.

Who's up for the challenge in this "friendly debate"?