Monday, April 23, 2007

Phone call etiquette---Reposting a fave of mine



Here's a topic certainly open for discussion! When is the appropriate time to make the first call and the last call. I remember the "programming" that I received as a young lad...please reference previous blog"I am not a robot..or am I". After meeting someone and exchanging numbers, wait 3 days to call so that you don't look too thirsty. Or here's another one, if someone hasn't returned more than 3 calls, don't call back.

My typical spin is pretty normal for this situation....

Personal experiences to expose myself just for a second....I have made the call too early in the past and made the call after 3 unreturned calls. Did I feel like a loser?...well Yeah!!!

Fortunately and unfortunately, I have a big ego! On the flip side, did I do the same thing...well Yeah!! First call are sometimes the most uncomfortable one..what questions to ask...who leads the conversation blah blah blah....how personal of a question can I get away with?....often times they determine if there are going to be any future calls as well. hint hint...clue clue people...asking about last time they had sex is too fu*****g personal!

The fun situation though...the break up calls. Who gets the last word in on the break up call? When is it acceptable to make a call after the "well f**k it then" or "we don't need to talk anymore" line has been crossed. The answer is....NEVER...atleast not for me anymore!

Recognize your phone etiquette personality traits..most fall into 5 categories
1. Aggressive male-sometimes misconstrued as cocky or controlling...ME, MY, MINE
2. Passive male-almost always a turn off to most women(that's what they tell me)..too much dead air time..fumbles to strike up conversations...
3. Aggressive female-generally talks too much and always likes to have the last word in...or has a comment on every statement made by the male.
4. Passive female-some would say the opposite of aggressive female...but I think not..more like the woman that prefers to follow the lead of the male in the conversation.(GREAT!!!!)
5. Relaxed intensity individual-male or female that understands the flow of the conversation and instinctively modifies to make it a comfort call(The best position)

Of course this is a generality on the topic...based on my perspective!

The alternative to all of this is to just text/IM each other...and never have any phone calls. In that case, you can be whatever or whoever you want to be! Smile...

If you can think of additional number's please share them.

Who's up for the challenge?

28 comments:

Kim said...

You amuse me, DC. What category do I fall into on the phone?

Mizrepresent said...

Funny and true. The one that especially annoys me, is the "Me, My, I" guy. He starts off asking you, "how you doing?" and before you can tell him, he's already mouthing off about his day.

dc_speaks said...

why thank you mizrepresent..I appreciate the input and comment. by the way, there are women that do the same thing...i've been a witness to it!..LOL

KIKI said...

I only have one problem with this. What's "great" about #4. Sounds a little chauvanistic to me. Like a woman should just sit there and listen, and should a thought pop into her head she should keep it to herself (I have a feeling some of your readers would love a #4 lol). In my opinion the only good match for a #4 is a#1. I'm with ya though, #5 all the way.

Damn, all this numbers sh*t got me thinking about a Xtra value meal. I'm goin to go eat now. Good post.

hamil10 said...

Well... sorry Kiki... I'm, well at least I used to be, a #4. Basically, I just followed his lead. not so much for the sake of giving a guy control, but at least to see where he was at. You learn more by listening. So I listen and watch, that way I learn the best to approach a person or situation, and if I want to approach it at all.

@ DC... good start for the week and thanks for stopping by to check me out. hopefully i'll get a chance to spill something later.

Shai said...

I don't like #1 or #2 for the male. I get bored if you talk to much or too little.

I am more #3 and a little of #5 depending on who it is I am talking too. LOL.

I agree with Kiki about #4. SMH. A complacent women is easy for most men to deal with, huh, DC?

Shai said...

Hamil10, I feel ya on seeing where a person is at if you listen to them.
I can be boring depending on who you are listening to, LOL.

Sheletha said...

yeah!!! im trying to figga out where do I fit....

Lance said...

i think everyone is a little of everything (the numbers)....it all depends on the person you're communicating with.

dc_speaks said...

thats in interesting perspective lanceman...hmmmmm

Lance said...

well, i see it like this...

fellas talk to fellas in certain ways than he would talk to the ladies.

prolly because he has an agenda to get the graws, so he'll step back and contemplate the sissuation before moving forward. don't wanna blow up the chance before hand.

...but if he's talking to his sister or female cousin. the conversation will be totally different.

sistas are the same. they comment and listen differently. in relationships, they kinda kno' he wants the graws but what is he going to do or say to allow her to "hand over the keys"? women ain't that stupid or naive. they just "allow us" to think that they are. now, c'mon ladies. don't you talk to your brothers or male cousins different than that brother on the smooth mack-tip?... (;-P

Khoney330 said...

I prefer to be a part of the conversation. If I'm not supposed to say anything, why bother calling. Oh you didn't. Anyway.. different issue. LOL I do like a guy who can hold his own in a conversation, if I have something to say I will make a comment at that time.

Shai said...

I pride myself on being able to talk to just about anyone. I can Talk. LOL. I can also be an introvert. Many times people I come in contact are surprised at how much I can talk.

I love to have conversations with men who know how to talk and listen. Who can engage in convos from the trivial to the controversial.

The last few guys liked how I could hold a conversation. However, I was bored with them because they could not hold one. I love talking and enjoy it. I also enjoy a participatory conversationlist. The quickest way to bore me is to have one word answers or expect me to fill in the blanks. Yuck! LOL.

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

Boy u are a fool

CortneyGee said...

i have terrible phone skills. I'm all about the control of the conversation .. bad habit from stand up . I didn't call you to ask you about nothing but to inform you of what I needed you to know ... now if you call me feel free to say whatever you like... Hope I listen better yet answer the damn phone .. selfish ass ...lol

Khoney330 said...

Well at least you're real about it, CG.

Lance said...

CG is straight up alpha dog male. leader of the pack!!!!! WOOF!!!!!

Lo said...

True dat, Lance. And from what I've heard over the past few days, I'm starting to guess that DC might be a bit of an alpha dog, too.

I sure am glad Cortney Gee is my brother!!!

DC, what's your last name again? I need to make sure we're not related...

dc_speaks said...

um...ok this is quite a turn. Ya'll are all crazy.

dc_speaks said...

hahahaha...normally the reference to Alpha dog would disturb me, but this time may be a lil different.

@Lo: my last name is.....available only offline from my blog...smile.

No W.VA action for you huh? LOL!!

Lo said...

Heading offline right now... ;-)

Ced.It/Meant.It said...

I limit phone time. If I could use a VIDEOphone everyday, I would jump on it. I like to see faces as I talk. I don't care about the rules on when to call. If a woman's interested, then she's interested. All the drama is a waste.

Ladies, don't burn my apartment building down!

dc_speaks said...

the video phone idea is a wonderful tool, brah. I love it. If you have an extra one, send it my way.

I'll help you start a revolution, dude!

Rich in the Stl said...

Yeah. I'm with you on the videophone, that would be my choice. Most definitely.

CapCity said...

Video phone is cool for using when i'm very comfortable talking to the person. NO video phone for those who are new to me & want to uphold that fantasy that I'm fabulous EVERY waking moment. lol!

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