Thursday, April 19, 2007

the myspace bandit...not for the faint at heart!!!

ok folks...I have to do this post. A very good friend of mine was ambushed by the myspace bandit...

and why do you say that???...well I'm glad that you asked. My friend was ambushed for being polite. Oh might think that sounds absurd but I can assure you dear readers, that it is the absolute truth.

I would like to make it known that this is an actual poem sent to the young lady in question...ANDDDDD I will post the question that dude posed to her after sending it off to her.

Unlike our own resident poets in the blog family, we have an example of "WHEN KEEPING IT REAL WITH POETS GOES HORRIBLY WRONG"...HAHAHAHAH..(sorry I had to laugh about that myself).

Ol' boy here sent off a beautfiul poem first to get the attention of the beautiful young lady then pulled the "old bait and switch" move. After she read the short poem and replied with a thank you, the second one came and since it was quite long, my friend chose to be polite by replying with a "thank you!" without actually reading it--- to let the dude know she got it. After receiving an additional message upon returning to her page she was asked if she dates. Now let's keep it real, we all have polite tendecies. But dude takes online courting to a whole new level.

let's take a peek shall we............

I lean forward taking your face
between my hands
slowly, passionately make love to your mouth, kissing and biting your lips,
sucking your tongue deeply.
I take you by the hand and
lead you to the comfort of the floor
which embraces us closely,
caressing our bodies as we become
I smother your face and neck with the wetness of my lips.
Nibbling here......sucking there......
licking my way down, slowly to your
I start to dance circles around each growing nipple with my warm tongue,
lingering slightly.......
taking a nipple every so gently
between my teeth
then releasing......
then soothing with kisses.
My mouth starts to make a trail from your nipples to the sweetness of
your navel, where I follow across
your stomach,
over the slight feel of soft hair
to the treasure I seek below.
Warm, pulsating,
anticipating what is to come.
My hands gently open the lips of the flower petals.......before me,
I dip my tongue into the nectar....
I trace my tongue up,
to temptation,
and massage
gently with my eager tongue.
stopping to suck for the stimulation it brings.
I hear your moans
lghtly, then louder,
I know this is what you want,
then my finger,
from my right hand,
slips, slowly
into the wet pool of passionate juices
that have begun to flow freely,
while I suck and lick the
epitome of your essence above.
I see you throw your head back
and begin to slowly rock
with each gentle insertion
and withdrawal of
my finger......
your moans are louder and the
smell of lust and
sensuality fill the room
until the last thrust of your rocking
and the last moan you scream
silences to mood and stills the

WTF...dude needs to be writing erotica novels not using them to pique the interest of random women.

I'll be the first to admit that I was like"Dayum doin it like that?"---then reality set in.

Ladies please be aware of internet etiquette and by all means "READ BEFORE YOU REPLY"
What do ya'll think about dude? DOes he have mad game---orrrr is he a whacked out loser with delusions of hooking up with a beautiful woman based on placing imagery in her head enough to get her to succumb to his weak attempt.

Who's up for this challenge? BATTERS UP!!!


Kim said...

DC I can't stop laughing...if I had received an email like that from a stranger and I have after my divorce and my month long membership on the dating sites--I would put a block on that individual. I think we all know if he is writing like that to strangers...he has a screw loose somewhere...if my significant other wrote me that...well lets say I would need a cold shower about now! You keep me entertained, DC!!!

Sheletha said...

MySpace aint nothing but a meat market...

Although the poem was great, I would not encourage the behavior. Simply tell him that it take more than a stiff dick to keep me happy. I require much more.

He would have gotten my attention, but I would be very leery keeping conversation with him.

Shai said...

I would be leery to even respond back. I would delete and move on cause that stuff creeps me out. LOL. I wonder if he really wrote that.

Or then again I would comment on his poetic skillz and say go write a book.

CapCity said...

Ewwwww! A sTRANGER wrote that to another STRANGER? PUH-LEEEZE! NOOOO sirrrrr - i'd give NO response & would probably block/report that user (regardless of his skillz as a wordsmith). But then I'm very leery of online connections (even if i did try internet dating - lol).

i'm just glad i don't experience all that craziness on myspace...

CortneyGee said...

i can't knocki the nukka's hustle he put it down ... fishing like that he is bound to catch some lonely chick thats in front of her pc dying for some attention that she isn't getting anymore. ( so she doesn't waste time on dont date and post things about me ....) I can give dude this one chicks email if he is interested ... she's ripe for da pickin'

Lance said...

cort hit the nail on the head with this one.

it's like fishin'...
you use certain bait to catch certain fish.

if you are one of those low self-esteem babes, he's got you hook, line and sinker!

Khoney330 said...

I can't believe it...I agree with Kim, stranger is a no go... but that certain someone, no shower needed, come to me daddy! LOL

Mizrepresent said...

Yes, a little to flaming for a stranger...but hot indeed.

Sheletha said...

Fishing...thats exactly what it is...

dr. Girlfriend said...

To be succint: my thoughts for the receiver of such a message: "Dignity is a Lady's best friend do not respond and block the user (as previously stated by family bloggers)-

My thoughts to the writer of such words: "Simply put, there are many persons who get paid for a living to be entertained by and or hear such words why deny them their economic fortune-the next time you want to share your talents call 1-900-hotbabe-and give them your Spokenword instead"

JustMeWriting said...

DAG...THAT'S CRAZY, I agree with everyone, and I probably would have not read the whole thing (seeing it was long) and just sent a polite thank you. Had I know it's contents I'd have done just as kim said...blocked him and moved on. Like shai, I too question if it's something he actually wrote...all in all it was a nice piece a lil rich for my blood but good.

Lance said...

dag, dr. girlfriend, you sho' kno' how to fuck up a groove.

if i ever see you at a party, unless you got a big ass and a purty smile, not only are you holding up the wall but the whole damn house!

i'm just messin' wif ya dr. g. i gotcha back, but then again....(;-P

KIKI said...

To quote Cap..."EWWWWWW"! First of all is that a poem? Sounds like just alot of nasty talk to me, which is cool (I'm all for the freaky stuff) if it's someone you KNOW & trying to get a piece. But write this to a stranger (SMH) don't just go lickin other peoples juices all willy-nilly. His damn tongue gonna fall off!

dc_speaks said...

thanks for the extremely candid remardk family.

Personally, I was shocked at the audacity to try to get it off...knowing who it is, made it absolutely crazy.

Fact is, old boy has big brass balls. I don't knock him for trying to holla, but maybe he run into some women that would go for it. There are lots of lonely women starving for attention. I hope he grows up fast.

Girly_Girl said...

I would block him in a heartbeat!!!