Thursday, April 26, 2007

Playa's Card---myth or reality?



Over the course of my young life, I have heard of the legendary" Playa's Card". It seems to be the pass used by men and women to engage in behavior that shows reckless abandon for the consideration of the opposite sex. For the holder of the card,the ones who earnestly sought to obtain it, it is as "heavenly" as the picture displayed above. Many people have accepted it as a means to operate under the guise of immature activities.

I choose to think differently. I own no such figurative card and I wince at the need to glorify it to our youth as a excuse for wanton destruction of our leaders of tomorrow.

I recently overheard some teenagers reference "the card" and it was like nails on a chalk board. They have been taught the "be the player---but don't get played" mentality which sickens me.

To keep it real, even in my many years of whorisms, I had not the need to use a card. I kept it real and gave women the option of "giving me some" because I asked and I didn't dupe them into thinking that they were my "only one/girlfriend/woman" I asked to hook up cause that's what I wanted to do---plain and simple. The honesty works fellas...please believe me. It was still wrong, but I exchanged the sin of lying and fornicating with just one of the two.

Here's my questions for both women and men:

Can a true "PLAYA's CARD" be revoked, stripped or suspended by becoming involved in a serious relationship? Orrrrr...does it have to be buried in an actual ceremony in the card holder's mind to relinquish its power? Conversely, if it is buried, is there a resurrection possible?

Who is up for a friendly discussion on how to destroy a "PLAYA'S CARD" PERMANENTLY???
We need to save these kids from making some horrible decisions, family!!!

30 comments:

Shai said...

It took guts to post such a topic.

I don't like the glorification of playas.

To revoke a playas card would take divine intervention. God putting in the playas heart the need to stop using folks.

KIKI said...

Playa...another word for a selfish muthaf*ka concerned with getting their way even if it's at the (emotional) expense of another...

Preach Shai...as far as the youth are concerned I think if a "real" man steps up & assumes the position of being a good role model, a young man has a chance to avoid being sucked up into that playa mentality...these old ass men out here still trying to play the game...like Shai said, I think the only thing that will save them is divine intervention...too set in there ways.

Like you said DC...If you keep it one hunnit...no need to play the game...thus no need for the "playa" title. We need more men like you...

Good post!

Khoney330 said...

I see not too many people want to touch this. LOL I agree with Shai, if they really want to turn in the card they can, a lil God won't hurt either, make that a lot! LOL

CortneyGee said...

Your card isn't revoked cause you fall in love ... it's self suspended until you need to ride the playa highway again dig it ... Of course women who are subseptible to being played aren't cheerleaders for playa's and I understand that .But whether we like it our not this society is based on play or be played mentality . Don't agree with me The IRS is the biggest pimps on the planet.. take loot from you for work you have done and give some of it back to you as it so see fits ... the goverment is the pimp we are da hoes!!!
When it comes to relationships women are much better playa's than men... especially if they can keep their emotions in check...
logic and detachment is a male playa's biggest asset.
One of my favorite retorts when my partners would ask me if I wanted to play Atari
Man I don't play games I play hoes .....
( I never was good at that video gaming shit )
As I've become older though the game has so much less appeal causae I can see that my playing days are coming to a close and my being a trick getting played days are dawning ....

Mizrepresent said...

Some men never give up their players card, whether they are in a relationship, or married. It takes a man, and/or woman to make a conscious decision to be committed, and to stay committed. Women get played because we are emotional creatures at heart, the women that will play you is the one whose heart has been broken so many times that she has made a choice to operate without emotions....for awhile. So do we have to act like we don't care to win your affection? Makes no sense to me...but i get finally get it.

JustMeWriting said...

I actually agree with most of CG's comments. That playa-mentality has to be layed down by the playa.

I actually belive in the 'Don't Play and Don't get Played' modo. I HATE...HATE to see women who always seem to put themselves in the line of the playa-cats fire.

And again..CG, you're sooo right with the women being ABLE to be the biggest playa's if they can keep their emotions in check.

I'm a sag...and I'm VERY logical (by nature...I think). I don't make assumptions...and I usually ask what I want to know (I've been told that I use words as a weapon...when I'm being honest) IF, by chance I've missed, overlooked or ignored some playa ways from a dude I'm dealing with...I CHUCK IT, yeah, we can be tricked sometimes...get caught up sometimes, but we've GOT to learn to put those emotions in check...especially when it's something we should have asked about or paid more attention to.

KIKI said...

@Cort...keepin it real as usual...

"But whether we like it our not this society is based on play or be played mentality"...it's unneccesary & SAD that people think this way and pass this kind of stinking thinking on to the youth(SMH)!

There's a difference between being a playa & dating different women...a playa has no regard for the woman/mans feelings, thoughts, or efforts and likes to play games (usually with the mind)...What is the point?

I'm becoming more & more a believer of "what goes around comes around" and eventually the playa does get played...unfortunately it's usually after he's left many women behind with anger & bitterness, making it hard on the good brother when he does finally come along.

CortneyGee said...

i know that you get played 10 times over for all the wickedness you put out .. remember last weeks bullshizzle on my blog ... But that the chance you take I guess ... I knew there was a reason I like that Philly Girl Just Me I'm a sag too ..cool calculating mufucka ...

JustMeWriting said...

I'm with you KiKi, a playa don't care who he hurts...because it's all about him...and yeah, that's real sad.

OK, CG: LOL... yeah, I've NEVER met a sag I didn't like... so...hahahah! it's no wonder...

dc_speaks said...

ya'lls are too funny. thanks for the compliments ki and shai.

I am loving these comments

Shai said...

OK, CG so it is ALWAYS a game being played?

From your post I get that cutting yourself off from the natural order of things is what helps you survive the game. That for me counteracts our REAL purpose here on Earth and the Enemy wins. So sad.

And why is getting played so funny to folks? Seriously, why is a player adimred for doing such harm and the real courageous person who tries to love or whatever considered weak?

CortneyGee said...

i don't see courage in loving .. it's natural to do so .. but it's also natural for man to be a predator ... to be prey is out of man's natural order ....

KIKI said...

There is courage in loving because loving means trusting completely...to make yourself vulnerable like that to someone takes courage!

It is in an animals nature to be a predator...not a man's. A man is a predetor because he chooses to be not because it comes natural. Predator & prey imply conquering & control...neither one have any place in a relationship that's supposed to be based on love...ITS ABOUT TOGETHERNESS BABY!

Shai said...

Right Kiki! Men are meant to prey on animals not humans. SMH. Now that they don't have to hunt animals so much, they hunt people. SMH. Misguided hunting that is all it is.

Still CG you did not answer my question why is it so funny when players play?

Shai said...

JustMe, not everyone is meant to be detached. If I was so detached, my poetry would not be as powerful. Plus, everyone needs a balance. In love, being emotionless is like a swimmer not swimming when in deep water.

CortneyGee said...

it's not funny when playa's play it so matter of fact that humor isn't even attached to it .. it's funny how squares react to players moves ... and to think of man as any less an animal than a wolf or a bear and he kills for reasons other than to eat is arrogance . Dogs can speak dog and any other langauge you engage in conversation with them in. We can't even tell when or dog has to piss or if they are trying to tell is there is a child in a well. Man isnt so damn smart thats all I'm saying .
As far as love is concerned I said that when it's equal and it rarel;y is love is a beautiful thing ... but if you get played don't yell learn the lesson and get out of the way have some damn dignity.

Shai said...

LOL. SMH. CG. I see where you at.
I have learned and hence the guards and other measures to avoid players.
And if some is a square what is wrong with that. Seriously.

dc_speaks said...

um..can i interject that being a playa for a man can also come from being dogged out as a young lad---that eventually evolves into a prince.

again I don't advocate its existence, but I dont know that sometimes it is a result of misplaced rage..due to women.

just a thought though, ladies.

and don't be gangin up on cort gizzle...he has the courage to speak for himself.

Shai said...

I am not ganging on CG. I am one who likes to ask questions, information is key.

Yeah, there are various reasons for playing for men and women. I am just tired of its glorification.

Where is CAP when I need to hear a good Godly word? LOL.

KIKI said...

LMAO@CG...You're absolutely right...a dog is a dog is a dog...no matter how house broken he his...lol

But this shit here...

"but if you get played don't yell learn the lesson and get out of the way have some damn dignity"...Diferent people preserve their dignity & self respect in different ways. With women, it's usually with words. There is nothing un-dignified about yelling at a man whose played you after confessing your love "I WILL NOT LET YOU PLAY ME AGAIN!"...translation..."I now know you're full of shit & I'm woman enough to not stand for it anymore!" Nope...not un-dignified. If anything it shows strength.

Lets flip it...you earlier said "remember last weeks bullshizzle on my blog"...well remember it & how you felt when ole girl pulled that bullshit. Did you just brush yo shoulder off & move on? Or did you yell about it first on cyber-space about how rotten this chick is for a few days until you tired of it & then moved on?

How is this any different?

Whew(exhaling now)...sorry CG...this isn't directed at you personally (well maybe the last part)..just seem like you're the only male with the balls to approach the subject.

Shai said...

WooSaw, Kiki,WooSaw. LOL. SMH.

Kiki, we all know alot of men think showing emotions means you are out of control and undignified.

Rich in the Stl said...

Too much reading....

The only way the card stays down is if you decide to keep it down. It takes more than love and marriage to do that. It takes God.

I used to be naive in thinking that once I fell in love and got married the urge would go away. No way, no how. Being a good man is a booty magnet. It takes everything you have sometimes to turn away from the offers. But it can be done. But you have to be willing.

Shai said...

Thanks Rich. I love your responses.

Lo said...

The Enemy has truly wreaked havoc upon the world. With all the games being played these days, it's a miracle men and women ever come together in harmonious love according to God's design. Everybody's so wary of who might be trying to hustle and/or hurt them based on past experiences.

Cort, you know you're my brother and I love you forever. You're ballsy enough to be honest about being a playa and make no apologies for it. You offer us valuable insight into a mindset that can be baffling at best, and deadly, at worst. The woman who dissed you on www.dontf*ckwiththismuhf*cka.com fell somewhere in the middle, but a woman, or man, scorned can be a terrible, terrible thing. I know, correction, KNEW (he's taking a dirt nap now) a cat who got shot in the thoat (yeah, I left the "r" out on purpose) because he played one woman too many. I'm sure being a playa can make a person feel an intoxicating sense of power, but you know what they say about power and what it does...

Excellent post, DC. It takes a strong, confident man to be able to talk about the playa card without fear of being labeled a traitor or a punk. I'm guessing you're neither. Good for you.

Shai said...

Amen Mz. Lo. I have been thinking that for years and saying it later lately. If the Enemy destroys relations between men and women, that means no strong family unit, which is the foundation of the world.

California Dove said...

A true playa is one who knows that she/he can have any man/woman of choice; but practices "self control"

CapCity said...

Wow! How did I miss ALL this action (oh, yea - i had a few deadlines to meet:-)?

WOW! - is alls I can say about the passion & honesty that seems to be spouted by everyone up in her'! Does Lance know this is goin' on? LOL!

I TOTALLY agree with JMW on this one. Shai, I can only HOPE that my writing still continues to show the passion that lives within me - even if I have consciously chosen to detach in order to maintain my HEALTH (mentally, emotionally, spiritually AND physically). I TRUST that when God sends my soul-mate I will be able to drop my detaching defense mechanism. I have learned that EVERY man I had "loved" is NOT meant to be let into the inner sanctuary of my heart.

I was checkin out PlezWorld's blog & saw this chick Alexyss Tylor. Many of you may have seen her via an email that seems to be going around. If you click on her name you'll find that I did a youtube search & you can take your pick of which video of hers to watch. The language may be offensive - but they're quite something to behold.

Once I stopped laughing I realized that what she has to say is VALID & probably even helpful to some sistahs who are quite vulnerable to playas.

Shai said...

CAP, I understand detachment when meeting a man and letting him in. But to completely detach from other things in my life I cannot do. My writing is powerful and passionate because I let my emotions out.

KIKI said...

Cap gurl, I agree with most of what Alexyss Taylor says...I have no problem admitting I'm attracted to the power of the penis...brother got to "hit the walls & work the middle" (LOL)...

While it may play a part in getting played for some women...my main problem is if I say I wanna "play" just like you & don't want a relationship...why does a man still feel the need to be a playa when he's getting what he wants without the deciept...I just don't get it! Like I said if one woman ain't down, another one is...why prey on women & basically force them into something they didn't bargain for with lies & mind games.

Shai said...

Wow, I just check out dontmesswithim site. Cort. SMH.