Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Cheating..Part I

I recently happened across an epsiode of Cheaters and almost passed out from laughing so much. I was on the youtube search late last night, but I couldn't find it. It was the most hilarious thing I had ever seen.

A woman---yes I said it, was guilty of cheating on her husband to be with not 1 but 2 women. She was having a threesome with two other women dressed in construction worker clothes while she was tied up. Some super freaky sh*t to say the least.

The dude she was with hardly understood the world of bondage and was more than slightly repulsed. Unfortunately I was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I couldn't turn away because it was that interesting.

Now I know why I couldnt turn towards the light(away from the b.s.) and why episodes like that are so well populated with ratings. It is simply because we enjoy the idea of someone getting caught. WHY? Why would our society support a show that highlights the exploits of affairs and infidelities? I'll tell you why becasue it sells! Just like website that alledgely exposes men that women arent supposed to hook up with, www.dontdatehimgirl.com Enough is enough people. Let's wake up and take a peek at it in the real world--not reality t.v..

Of all the cheating relationships, men tend to be the ones that catch the most flack. I don't condone cheating. Let's get that straight, first. I just get sick and tired of hearing how men are the evil incarnate entity that drives women to either

a. be with another woman
or
b. revert into a shell of her former self

Let me tell the ladies a tad bit of info to help you out. Men cheat because of several reasons. I'll just name a few to kick around the campfire for discussion today.

1. His woman allows him to because she's doing the same
2. His woman would rather have a bad man, than no man
3. He was programmed to have sex early and often and hasn't found one woman to "satisfy him" completely
4. His woman doesn't listen to him when he tells her he wants to break up(she holds on, thinking she can fix it)
5. He's immature
6. He uses the cop out of being accused so much unjustly that he decides to cheat
7. His woman tells him no too often
8. Other women will do what his woman won't do
9. Women target men in relationships to hook up with just to be wicked towards other women

We can stop there. The reality is that both men and women cheat for one single reason. BECAUSE THEY WANT TO! Excuses are only needed because our society tries to glorify the relationship woes and make mockeries of them.

I know that most of my readers are women but I leave you with this question. If your man/husband cheated on you...and he came up with a good enough excuse as to why---would you leave or would you stay? Keep it real! An honest answer goes a long way. I have seen women say that they would rather be by themselves than with a cheating man. Then see that woman with the same guy(married no less) ater reconciling. Would you redefine the relationship or end it all together?

For the fellas I leave this note. Don't cheat! Be upfront about the intentions. In this age, she just might go for it...If you only ask. We don't have to lie to kick it. She may just want to have sex with you and pull the "Boomerang" move

Who is up for this challenge

33 comments:

Shai said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Girly_Girl said...

If Dave cheated, I would stay. End of story.

Khoney330 said...

If my husband cheated I would try to work it out. If my boyfriend cheated, he can let the door hit him where the good Lord split him!

Sheletha said...

its not the good excuse for cheating that that would make me stay. it would be the lack of trust and respect that would be totally depleted that I would have to leave. I don't think I could trust & respect a man and still love him.

Girly_Girl said...

On the flip side, though, if I cheated, Dave would cut me up into little pieces and feed me to the neighbors dog.

KIKI said...

I'm gonna keep real. If sex is all you want, say so, cause guess what...that's all I want from yo ass, too. What get's me is when dude starts talkin bout he wants to be wit you & doesn't want you seein anybody else, and the whole time he's talkin that BS he's layin down wit Mary, Beth, and Sue. SMH

GG brought up another point, though. Why is it men think it's ok to cheat, but lose their mind when they think they're woman is doing the same? Whats good for the goose is damn sure good for the gander!

CapCity said...

DC - this topic makes my head & heart hurt...so brother, I will take your general route and plead the fifth...smh...

Shai said...

I agree with Kiki's post except for the casual sex part. I am not into that anymore.

Fragile egos, yet stomp on others hearts. I find that interesting about some men. They cheat and trip cause you tripping. They trip out like crazy if you cheat on them. SMH.

KIKI said...

Lemme clarify...when I say I just want sex like he may, It means that I'm not looking to jump right into a relationship. If we're vibin & you honestly tell me that your not looking for a relationship at that precise moment, but for someone who's company you can enjoy every now & then, that's cool wit me...we'll take it from there. If it turns into something more cool...if not that fine too cause at least I wasn't led to believe that there was something there when it wasnt.

And while my disdain for lying cheating men has only become stronger in my old age, I must admit that while there was a time I would have kicked yo ass to the curb the first time I found you cheating, now I have become a little more tolerant of it, not that I think its acceptable, but if it's someone I truly cared about, I would probably give them another chance. Everybody makes mistakes! Just dont let it become a habit!

hamil10 said...

There is a double standard regarding men and women cheating. Its mostly said that men cheat for mere sport and women cheat because of an emotional void. I think actually the reasons are the same for both, along with immaturity on some level and selfishness to boot. I speak from personal experience.

Girly_Girl said...

KiKi, you and I are on the SAME PAGE!!!

Shai said...

I feel ya, Kiki. It is cleared up. I have to say as I get older my tolerance for some behaviors is low. Ok, yeah people make mistakes. The thing is usually when a person cheats there are the lies, deceit and other injuries. I would have to evaluate all that has happened, regardless of love, before I say yea or nay on the staying with a cheating spouse.

dr. Girlfriend said...

Matters of the heart are complicated and they are definitely too complicated for me to define what I would do hypothetically if given a set of circumstances. I live by principles and doctrines daily but I am honest enough with myself not to be governed by them and to take each day, each occurence and life moment as it comes. Personally and genuinely speaking, I don't know what I would do.

Shai said...

Dr. G, you have some eloquent posts. Geez, do ever just kick it in slang and always so technical. LOL.

CortneyGee said...

I don't consider it cheating unless we are married and have made a commitment before freiends family and GOD then it's hell felony stuff.. fornication is hell Misdemeanor offense at worst ... I agree that DrG always has great point it just hurts to read all those big words ..

Shai said...

Cort, I have heard that cheating is only cheating if you are married. I don't believe that though.

dc_speaks said...

ok...this is getting interesting. i'm really enjoying this post.

KIKI said...

I'm with you, Shai...what's the point of telling someone you're only with them when you know it's a lie; that lie is what makes it cheating...married or not!

I also have to admit I've had to pull out my thesaurus a couple times reading Dr. G's post. LOL!

Shai said...

All right yall I joked with Dr. G. I did not expect others to join in. Let's let up on DG. LOL.

I admire folks who are as eloquent as she is. I am a lover of words. I also like to get loose too.

Shai said...

DC? Would you stay with a mate that cheated?

dc_speaks said...

for the record, in my younger years, I would have kicked the bi**h to the curb immediately.

as I got older and had a girlfriend cheat on me, I had an opportunity to use her actions and hold it over her head, punishing her by doing things I won't mention here in my post. I felt like I needed to f*ck her up emotionally and destroy her confidence by doing some dastardly deeds for revenge.

I dont have that problem now though...(smile)

answer your question?

Shai said...

NO. LOL. Kick to the curb, revenge, past things. Presently, what would you do?

JustMeWriting said...

I'm with gg: Yeah, if I loved him and felt he was sorry...lol. I'd take him back END OF STORY LOL.

CortneyGee said...

ain't no man ever sorry for busting a nut unless she gets pregnant or he gets burnt ...

CortneyGee said...

it's only cheating when ou married .. why I say this GOD is involved when you are fornicating the last person you want in on your bad work is the LORD ... when you involve the most high you cheating .. when you are already sinning its just a nother infraction

CortneyGee said...

for the record if a woman dips on me she can keep stepping .. I dont like to willingly dine and grind behind another once we have locked it down .. it's my double standard but hey....

dc_speaks said...

lol...a shocking geeism set. why wouldnt i have suspected that?

u are hilarious dude!

dr. Girlfriend said...

LOL-thanks for the love family!

Lance said...

whut up d.c...
for most, it just FEELS better when you sneak...

like when you're on a skrick diat, and no one's lookin'...and you see a box of krispy kremes open'd up, just callin' yo name...that temptation a mo-fo but when you can do it, gobble one down right quick and no one sees you...it's a rush!

same with cheetin'...the rush to be able to do it under the radar of others. it doesn't necessarily mean cheetin' with someone. it could be cheetin'...having sex in the public bathroom vs at the house and not get caught....makin' goo-goo eyes at someone with your significant other with you and they respond. pure power.....and they're many more examples. is it right, no. do you feel empowered, yes. why? cause you don't feel like you're entraped and still got it going on.

for all you youngin's out there, wait til you hit forty...then you'll see.

KIKI said...

Dr G...I love that your comments make me utilize parts of my brain that would otherwise lie dormant. The teasing was outta love.

Lance said...

y'all ladies been listenin' to wendy willams lately...forget oprah. y'all coming wif it raw and ready.

lemme go get my beer & pretzels!

CapCity said...

seems busy up in her'! i'm not here to comment - cuz this topic causes me much angst...i'm just here to ask if the fellas would like to add their 2 cents to MWB's latest? Someone in addition to lance;-)

Mizrepresent said...

This also not one of my fav topics, i guess because i have done the 3 strike rule, an ole dude struck out...i think i am more forgiving if it's only physical in nature, but if you are off loving, expressing love in some form to another, other than me and we are committed, then all bets are off...leave me the hell alone and deal with them...i ain't into sharing period, but emotional sharing is a no-no. And if it's physical...sorry dude, i am a firm believer of "whats good for goose is good for the gander."