Wednesday, March 7, 2007

polite...or rudeness?

LOL...today I preformed a test and was not shocked at the results. I intentionally asked every single person within a 10 foot radius about their day. The "hey, how you doing" type of questions.

It started early in a busy gas station B.P., then went on to a Burger King on Lee Harvard in good ole Cleveland, Ohio. After, the experiment tapped into direct contact, I decided to take it a step further and make random phone calls to people on my cell phone.

Most people answer with the customary..."good and you"..

Here's the thing, I answered every last person with a very, very negative reply...I said "man..im fu****d up, taking a beating, don't know if I can make it another day", and a few other choice selections. You know what????...not one person actually listened to my answer.

Are we so wrapped up in ourselves that we really don't give a damn about the next person...or do we just continue to think that everyone is going to say the normal"I'm ok/alright..thanks for asking" and keep on stepping.

What do you do when someone asks you how you are doing? Do you return the question and if you do...wait for a reply?

I know I'm guilty of doing it...I wonder why though...do I really give a damn or am I trust trying to be polite? Which is in fact..being rude when I don't even listen to the answer..

11 comments:

Mizrepresent said...

Man, you are on a roll today, 2 posts! You go now! This was too humerous. I speak to everyone, the only thing that annoys me most is when i speak and people dont' speak back. But anyway, I usually answer the following, on good days, "fine and you?", on not so good days, "I'm good, how about you?" That's the extent of it! I hope i'm a good listener and i think i am...if someone is down or said something like you said, "i f@##D, i would probably ask why? And give some encouragement...just me....btw, sent you an email at gmail.

Girly_Girl said...

I'm like you, Miz. I say 'hello' to everyone and I HATE when people are so rude that they can't even be bothered to return the greeting.

DC, I've had people do this to me. When I ask them how they are and they start telling me how rotten their day has been, I always try to offer some words of encouragement.

We're all inhabitants of this global village, you know?

dr. Girlfriend said...

Interesting observational study you conducted today. Of course I love evidence based evaluation and assessment! How we behave and our attitudes about a topic certainly is telling. Of course there are exceptions to any "rule", but I try to treat others the way I want to be treated, thus I speak and or ask how a person is doing because I am both being polite and I care. If a person does not do the same it does not make me angry, I guess I try to model behavior that I think is appropriate. Let me give you an example, each week I walk into the "doctors work room" where other physicians are conversing or on the computer, or on the phone carrying out tasks. In the room may be other staff members but mostly doctors. Every time I walk into the room (for the first time that day) I say a general hello. The first month this went on one person or perhaps no one else spoke back. Over time, perhaps weeks to months, someone asked me why do I say hello when I enter a room and who am I speaking too? I answered, "It is called being polite and something I was taught as a child upon entering a room." Eventually persons returned the general hello and how are you and now most if not all return the hello when I walk into a room. My point is that being polite, professional, respectful, etc is modelled behavior. I am not sure it is that no one else cares but I try to live by the Word "do unto others...."
To answer your question, when I ask how are you doing I want to know and would appreciate the same.

CapCity said...

were u talkin' to me?

LOL!

Rich in the Stl said...

I hope you did this study AFTER you called me. Too funny.

I'll hit u later.

IYMS said...

I listen and give an uplifting response. I only ask when I am able to listen for the response. Thanks for making me even more conscience of this.

California Dove said...

If you would have asked me anytime this week my response is:
I's Tide Massa

dc_speaks said...

lol@rich....too funny! great comments ya'll.

i may be a lil silly at heart, but i do like to go deeper into a situation..

because most people just answered and walked away, i was amazed at how it really went down.

I encourage any of you to try it...we can laugh abou tit another time!

CapCity said...

where do u live again, DC? in most cities that's just the way it is...

CortneyGee said...

Funny you would write this DC I was with you in that BK and laughed at the people not paying you attention but acting as if they had . I don't believe people are being rude they are programmed to keep it moving when engaged in a abstract conversation.

Americans are real good at the programmed conversation... sometimes they are so not paying attention they answer the question with a question...Which i think is the most ignorant thing .

Lance said...

good post, maybe it's because we gotta enough shit on our plate, one mo' spoonful, might not get it...

...but i'm curious to know..of all those who you responded too, were they all friends, associates or strangers. if they don't "really" know you, they're just gonna mind their own business, probably a lesson learned from being nosey in other folks shit.

...but if it's your fam or close buds, more than likely...you may get that "positive" response of care. if they know you, then they'll hear you, but will they listen becomes the question.