The New Dawn---Repost!
My friends I have come to bear witness to a less verbalized change in the system of dating. The tides have turned! I'm going to take you on my own personal time warp.
When I was a teenager in the 80's, I was about 6'1 and very slender. Dark brown skin, big nose, and kinda shy. That definitely was not the formula to get girls to notice me other than being able to play basketball well and run fast on the track. Yet the physical appeal for the majority of the women was quite different than how I looked in my teenage years. The light complexion, grey or green eyes and wavy/perm looking hair was "in" then. Though I was a jock, I was still missing some of the attributes that attracted girls. Now don't get me wrong, not all of the young ladies were shallow like that and I was veryyyyy thankful for the girls that like the brown skin, average joe's like me.
I found that I became a "good friend" or "brother" type figure to the girls that I had crushes on! Looking back...that was masterfully done! But at the time, I was taking a beating.
In the 80's, there were lots of movies where the nice guy was the friend who watched the beautiful female friend that he loved get played by dudes over and over again, to eventually ended up with the girl. WRONG!!!!!! Hollywood had me set up for failure, Jack!! That shit never happened like that in my life..yet, it made for a happily ever after romance in theory. Even shows like "Beauty and the beast" were popular and promoted that "boy I wish I could be with her" kind of thinking.
Well guess what...LOL..the joke is on the pretty boys now!! You know the ones..the ones that thought that they could skate through life because they were attractive and didn't maximize their opportunities in education or talents in athletics. I'm not hating..just keeping it real! If not for those dudes, the nice guys like me wouldn't be the "in" thing right now. I watched many hearts get broken, over and over again because women coveted that stereotype. Musicians that couldn't sing worth sh*t got over because of their "look"..Al B. Sure is top on a lot of my female friends list..LOL
It was a double edged sword to be a kid in the 80's, compared to now as a grown man. I endured quite a bit of heckling in my teen years to come back and hook up with
the prom queens down the road...(while they still looked good)!!! The tables have turned...now in the favor of the nice guys, good friends and the "oh,girl please..that's just______". By the way, I hated that shit and I know I'm not alone!!!!!!
This time around, the sincere nice guys that treat a woman with dignity, respect and become great friends, don't have to settle for being"oh, he's just a friend". We have a shot because now women think the "pretty boy's" are players because of previous experiences and even worse than that "on the down low".
Inspired to revisit the thought much by recent blogs by Bloopty Bloop's Oct 23rd post..thanks ya'll
My public service announcement!
22 comments:
i kown exactly what you talking about and the cute guy not worth shit
i take the nice guy
I'm not even going to say anything...I think I got in trouble when you posted this the last time. If I remember correctly, my brother basically called me a bitch in front of the entire blogosphere!
LMAO@ Girly...That's ok...we still love you.
I looooove men, all shapes, colors, and sizes. But it's somethin about a Chocolate brotha thats OH SO SWEET...mmmm-mmmmm! Plus it's been my experience that some (not all) of the fairer skin men have some...how should I say...shortcomings...hehehehe.
just taking a hiatus break to say wha's up to my blog-folk!
No lie, dc, no lie...
HHAHAHAH! Even in the 80s I hated them hi yella pretty boyz!!!! I always wanted the burnt *LOL* nice dudes/nerds. *sigh* I miss high school...
i was taught that women loved scholars, i belive such, but only if they are smart enuff to see such
"We have a shot because now women think the "pretty boy's" are players because of previous experiences and even worse than that "on the down low".
ROFL...yes, even then, a "good man" is hard to find :)
Is it that women really like the nice guy or is it because you are older now aka the women are older too, so could it just be that the now older woman's proirities have changed?
"Successful" men are always in. They represent stablity. Every women regardless of age wants security(aka stablity). At different ages "success" is defined differently.
Andrew, ones priorities do change when they get older. For me, my tolerance for B.S. is nil and at this age, if a man doesn't have some type of stability, he's not someone I'm trying to get to know on that level. A man in their 20s has more leeway but if you're in your late 30's and 40's...you should be stable...not saying he has to be rich, but come on now :)
I can relate, cuz, ummm I wasn't the girl all the boys went after. I was scrawny ass hell, wore ponytails (even in high school), didn't get to wear the lastest fashions.
But I'll give everybody a fair chance.
I wonder how the "pretty boys" feel now?
hmmmmmm..interesting commentary, fam.
just because I fell into an interesting category, didn't mean that I also didn't find the fair complexion and green eyes as a treat too. I chose to be an equal opportunity dog...back then. so in reality, it didn't matter if i had the nice girl or not, i still was a wretched fella/playa type.
but it was nice to be able to get the prom queen types as we all got older.
@Saadia: yeah your brother did throw you under the bus. hahahaha..it was classic!
That whole thing about pretty boys thinking they can float is the very reason why there are hardly and doctors who were FINE all their lives.
Chocolate was always where it was at as far as I'm concerned.
Shew all a light skinned, pretty eyed, good hair having brotha could EVER do for me was point me in the direction of his dark skinned friend.
If y'all don't know, y'all betta ask somebody!! LOL
As I said in my response...
My daddy was dark skinned so...safe to say...that's what I look for.
A girls daddy is her first love.
Although...umma, Boris Kodjoe could get it..right now...right here...in front of everybody! All day, every way.
I feel like a trouble maker today.
I think there are good and bad in all.
I have always loved darker skin men, still do but I have been left holding the bag by them a time or three.
I never thought I would be interested in a light skin guy much less biracial pretty boy. He is the one who stole my heart.
I don't think you can judge a book by its cover or color...
I have been hurt by light and dark, pretty and not so pretty.
Different strokes for different folks.
When it comes to the affairs of the heart--love and hurt are both color blind. It doesn't care if you're light skinned, dark skinned or what have you. I've found that there are good and bad men, no matter what color of their skin hue. But doggone it, if I'm going to get played, let him atleast be cute...lol Now that's another topic...even the ugly ones try to dog out sisters...what's up with that?
as a dark skinned sista, i recall how this used to go down back in the day. the irony though was that the "fly guys" were interested in my though because of my accent, which seemed to surpass my skin tone.
i'll take the guy who's attractive to ME and will all the qualities I want/need than the so-called "fly guy" any day.
DC, I know what you mean. I was always that "brother" type of guy to girls in highschool. Always getting overlooked. Just a shoulder to cry their blues on. It wasn't until college that chicks really started noticing me. Then I had a smorgasborg to make up for lost time.
Now that I'm older...well you know how it goes...they all wish they could have, what they now can't.
Too bad, so sad. That's what they get.
Damn good post.
I don't think we can ever figure a woman out. lol. They always seem to want what they don't have.
Then again I haven't had a real woman
I must admit that I've been guilty of being shallow when it comes to the physical attributes of my man. I can't help it, I like what I like.
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