Monday, July 2, 2007

Monday Musings...part III

It's Monday Musings time again. It's kind of short but I think that it pretty much speaks for itself.

So here goes, if you are a naturally nurturing individual and you are always the person that others look to for support and comfort/help, how do you react when someone offers to help you? Are you the person that will refuse help even if you need it because the role reversal may be too much to bear, or are you the person that is too strong to let anyone see you in a moment of weakness....orrrrrr can you accept help when needed and just appreciate that someone else can have your back?

There may be other reasons, but those are the ones that I came up with.

I suppose that some people look for help from others all the time, so this post would not apply to them...LOL!!!

Who's up for Monday Musings query?


CreoleInDC said...

Am I the only person that thinks suspiciously about terro alerts being raised and "plots" popping up all over the place as we close in on election time?

dc_speaks said...'re not the only one that is suspicious. It is surprising to hear with the elections taking place in 2008. Though I expected them, it came about 6-9 months before I thought they would start to surface.

Girly_Girl said...

I guess that this post doesn't apply to me because I look to help people all the time.

muahahahahhahahhah :)

Opinionated Diva said...

Wow...this REALLY made me think you were inside my head! lol

I am the natural nurturer. I'm the oldest of seven (which includes the 3 cousins my mom raised) and I am alllllllllllways the one people come to for help. Even if it's for stuff I know nothing about. If I can help, I normally will, or I'll find out information where they can get help. I think this is one of the reasons that makes me so good at my job.

Asking for help is hard for me... really hard. I'm one of those prefectionist must do everything myself, which can drive a lot of people crazy.

Paula D. said...

You are definitely talking to me on this one :-). I am the first I've always been older sister & a nurturer.

Yep, it is extrememly hard for me to ask for help. I always feel like I can take care of anything.

dc_speaks said...

hey fam....glad ya'll feeling this post.

heyyyyyyyyy, Saadia...MF!

hey, op diva...i'm speaking to you too huh, outstanding.

Paula D: I'm an only child so I can only partially relate.

Anonymous said...

Wow Bruh. Excellent question. I am that rescuer, protector, knight in shining armor type. I was raised to be that way and now don't know anything else.

For this reason, it's hard to accept help from others because I think it's my job. I'm not foolish enough to think I don't need help and don't have shortcomings, but I've helped most of the people I know. i don't want to destroy anything in their eyes, so I don't ask when I need. It's part of the rescue of them. Catch 22 really.

Gonna think more about that...

c. said...

I am a natural nurturer and it is extremely difficult for me to ask or receive help. I feel weak if I ask for help. It is something that I am working on and I have friends that press upon me to let go and allow others to help. Not a easy lesson to learn when you have been doing for yourself all of your life.

chokkklitsoul said...

I am generally the one that nurtures...or offers advice and the shoulder to lean on when it comes to my friends and family. They hardly ever offer that back though...I would be open to receiving that support if offered. Most always, I can only gain that support from my man...and I guess that is the way it should be...but it would be good to get that from my friends too.

dc_speaks said...

what up soj g.---good comment, son. I feel ya on that too

@c.: thanks for the first time drop by, I've been how I am my whole life too.

great comments!

T.C. said...

yep i am the one that's ALWAYS there ALWAYS nuturing...but I will GLADLY take someone looking out for me, problem is, that I have to accept people for who they are and understand that people won't ALWAYS be there for me like I'll would be there for them, so sometimes I keep things to myself and won't ask, and I think that's why, because us giviers NEVER seem to have someone give back to us in the same way...BUT we HAVE to remember to just appreciate what is given when its given....and then is ALWAYS Momma!!!

nikki said...

i don't know...there's the nurturer and then there's the 'fixer'. the 'nuturer' is the one who gives just enough to assist in empowering. they don't guide, they aid, equip the person with the tools so that he/she can guide him/herself.

the 'fixer' is the one who thinks he/she has all the answers and is supportive to a point, so long as the advice is followed. he/she gets the ego trip when folk follow his/her advice and isn't open to advice from someone else because that other person doesn't know as much as he/she knows. the 'fixer' takes it personal when the person seeking advice doesn't take it.

sometimes my actions are ego-driven and i fall into 'fixer' category. however, i'm a nurturer too, although i have to admit i think i'm more of a 'fixer'. something i have to work on.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

This would be me.... "are you the person that is too strong to let anyone see you in a moment of weakness"

mark said...

Ok I am the nice guy that is trying to make things nice. So I think that makes me a nurterer.

Also being a nurterer serves my ego because one ways I get my jollies off is by helping people.

So my question is this if I get great pleasure out of helping people am I helping people because it boost my ego.

Also is helping people because it strokes my ego a purely selfish exercise in this instance?

dc_speaks said...

hey chokkk...what it doski? how's the new mommy to be doing?

tc: can never ever lose with momma...ever!!

nikki: what up girl? glad to see your cyber face. so you're a fixer huh? thats pretty interesting.

The diva: i pegged ya huh? purely coincidental of

mark: i'd have to think about those questions you posed brotha mark. give me a min and i'll shoot you a private email unless you open it up for public conversation.

i am glad ya'lls feeling this though.

Ray said...

Thanks for the complement, this is totally off the subject and what not but I hope you are doing better now man.


Ms. Behaving said...

I'm the type of person who'd be willing to help any person in need once they were'nt asking me to do anything harmful or anything illegal.

However, I can't really say that I turn to many people for help myself. Think it's a high in pride thang with me.

I got that whole "I got this" ---attitude down to a science LOL.

Ticia said...

I am a nurturer, lover, comforter...lay in my bosum... LOL---

Although I don't seek others often, it is good to know that I can depend on someone--

KIKI said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah! LOL

I'm normally that nurturing person, too...always trying to help when I can. I'm quickly learning, though, that when you do offer to help, you get BURNED (trying to heal my third-degree burns now). Especially when a mo-fo ASKS for your help & then turns around and says f-you.

As far as asking for help...RARELY! I usually find myself turning down help or asistance for fear of there being a hidden agenda. You hope that someones doing something out of the goodness of their heart, but waaaaay to often there's an alterier-motive.

Jacqueline said...

Okay, who's been lookin' in my luggage, dc? LOL! WOW~ I have working on this one for a while, and I have to agree with Nikki in that one has to look at THEIR motivation for assisting---is it to have everyone look at you and say MAN! or do you genuinely want to assist,desiring nothing (no glory, thank you) other than to serve? I'm trying to be the person in the latter example, but sadly, there are more times than I am comfortable with, that I am the former. How do I know? Because when I don't get that feedback (read: glory), I'm more than a little let down... and I have a real hard time accepting help...***quietly leaving the room to inspect a few more pieces in that bag***

tAnYeTTa said...

Stopping by to say Hello :)

Jennifer said...

Ahhh great question!

As a therapist I am one of those who is usually the listener, comforter! :-)

There was a time in my life where it was a little difficult to accept help but those days are long gone! LOL!

Blessings DC...


Always wanting to know.... said...

This one hit the spot. I was just told that I let my pride get in the way of me seeking help in any way.

I have to say that I am the one that would deny the help because I try to be there for others I don't know how to except help......

Issues man....I got issues :P

DC this was a good one.

Issues man...issues :P

lisa q. said...

definitely a, love, love to help people, but i'm not too proud to accept help when it is offered...i definitely appreciate knowing someone has my back...