I'll give you the stars.....trust me!

Space....the final frontier. The exploits of a "Real Mile(s) High Club" playa!


Ok...of course everyone knows the story of the love triangle astronaut saga...but let's put another spin on the story since I love doing that anyway. This in no way shape or form is a love triangle...she's d**k whipped! I get the infatuation with the pilot thing..."chicks love pilots". I even get the uniform thing..."chicks love a guy in uniform". What perplexes me is how sprung she got to get her to this point. She has a husband and 3 kids at home. That means her husband probably wasn't hitting right...I get that too. My point is... what could dude possibly have said or done to have her lose her mind like that? That just ain't normal!! NASA has extreme screening procedures for their astronauts...

The plotting that it took place was extremely deliberate....she even went as far as to go to the store and get some diapers....huh?...wtf!!! I guess the less stops she made, the better..wow!!



If dude comes out with a sex video on the net...I'm getting it. She drove 900 miles to confront someone that she "thought" was getting it from old boy!

Plus they said that she wore a disguise?...LOL...seriously...WTF Like she really needed to wear one...how funny!!! I'm not even going to comment on the bb gun or the pepper spray. The rubber tubing kinda had the really freaky connotation to it, so I'll let that one go too.


This woman looks waaaay different without the glamour shot photo. As a matter of fact, I'm going to insist on seeing any woman that I ever would consider getting involved with "make up-less" I need to see what she really looks like. For just this reason alone, I'm paranoid!

I'm looking at pics of dude and thinking to myself that the average dude must be back in. I can look at another guy and say without hesitation"I'm sure women think that dude is attractive" and still hold onto my masculinity without question. This time around I asked a few women friends and they said he made the "he's o.k." list.


I have come to the conclusion that from my experiences, dude must have given her the most exciting and fulfilling orgasm of her life. On top of that, with the stars, planets and the moon as the background?! Thereby doing what no other man was ever capable of doing. Literally making her see "stars" while she was in the heat of passion. She was the victim of "extreme boning"...a sport of the 22nd century...She just couldn't handle it!!

So to sum this all up...I take my hat off to Capt. William Oefelein and present him with the "bronzed penis" award



Congratulations, sir! I saluuute you!!

Its cold outside...can i get a day off too?

Man it is freezing fo sho...0 degrees with a wind chill of about -15 degrees. Snowing and the wind is biting cold...folks can't drive(fortunately I have experience..I lived in Milwaukee, Wisc)



Wind chill advisory is in effect until later this afternoon. Thankfully though, the snow slowed down enough for me to get out of my driveway without using the old snow thrower. Last week was not so kind..I had trouble leaving in the morning and coming back home in the evening..major accumulation...I stopped for a quick holla at my dude and I watched my van go from dry to covered in a mater of about a half hour while I was at Cortney Gee's house.


My 14yr old son is loving it though...no school for the second day straight.

What's happening though? When I was a pup in school, we didn't get snow days like now. I feel like I'm being cheated! I remember my grandparents telling me the stories about how they walked through 5 feet of snow 18 miles just to get to school. I'm not knocking my ancestors..I just think that they stretchhhhhhhhhhhhhhed the truth a lil bit. Education was a hard fought for privilege so I'm sure that they did sacrifice and make some journeys in bad weather. Something kids today will never ever experience...spoiled brats!! Sacrifice is leaving the cell phone at home or deciding what party to go to when they have options. Damn..they're lucky!

But...geeeeez can i get a snow day too? I work about 17 miles from the house....I could stay home and watch Maury, Jerry, and Oprah in my boxers.


I am just going to wait until the summer is nearly here and take a "sunshine day". Tell the office to kiss my butt cause the weather will be too hot to come to work and the sun glare may cause me to have an accident. Send my son to school and tell him that I'm doing it to protect him from all the harmful ultraviolet radiation. Yeah.....that sounds like a plan! WHOSE WITH ME?

the unexpected wingman....

Look ma...up in the sky...it's a bird...it's a plane...no..it's "WING MANNNNNNN"


Last Night was the Superbowl...as of course you already know!!!I didn't care about the game too much because I'm a hometown fan and the Browns weren't playing sooooo....I decided to flip a coin and the Bears won my fan of the day coin toss...

I was invited to the downtown Scorchers bar & grill ...........

by a former Cleveland Browns player and good friend of mine...Herman Fontenot...


a great guy with a heart of gold and really(fun to know)play on words too...

I'm not a rookie to partying...I have some other famous friends and local celebs in my circle of acquaintances..including Mr. Cortney Gee...shameless plug for my homeboy and former teammate on the junior high school basketball team.

The atmosphere was "like that"..happy hour prices and discounts on food...Other Cleveland Browns alumni and some Coors light models.....Oh yeahhhh....no, not the twins....


but some really good looking Sistahs that are local gals! I hope they make it in the model business too....

My boy's were getting hammered and I ended up taking one friend's keys because he was waaaay to drunk to drive. Then after being introduced to a few new people via Herman, I found that I was group "wing man". Almost every new acquaintance that I was around last night, asked me to keep friend busy while they hollered at someone else...I did the "great play" and "high five roll". The thing that amazes me about last night is that white females used me as wing man with their girlfriends to try to get with my homeboys..

Wow..times sure have changed! That was a new one even for me and I've been around the block a time or two.

Note to self...be a lot meaner and don't go to clubs or parties solo anymore...I'm too damn friendly!

With everyone that probably scored(hooked up) last night..I should have been the damn referee or scorekeeper. From now on, I vow to be the official "cock block"!

Damn..can I please have my sh** back?

I happened back down memory lane today(your fault CG) and wasn't a happy camper...in fact I was like..damn that was foul!! I think most people will relate to this one.

Ahhh love is in the air..sharing,caring and romance. Special times when there is no such speakings of "my things and your things...We share everything!"

Those are the good times..gentle times..open and sincere times ...Burning and passionate love....

BUT......we the flames have died down and the two no longer act as one..the separation makes every purchase ever made flood back in with amazing accurate recall...IE:"Uh uhhhnn, u cant keep that..I bought that at Macy's right after the sale started cause I was with Nikki and she bought extra lingerie for when ray ray came home from being locked up on his DUI last August...don't tell me..I know when I bought that". I been there too, but then I'm always like that anyway. Smile......Remarkable memory recall on select things, but that's another blog.

Here's when it really gets interesting....borrowing music...(that's a simple one). I hate loaning out my Cd's especially to a girlfriend. When the romance is over, I never get my shit back...it's like the transaction of "BORROW"never registered. Breaking up means forfeiture of rights...I guess.

this is of course how it stared!!!!! NOW IT LOOKS MORE LIKE...................

How f****d up is that??.....under the guise of being my girl...I got suckered! Oh and don't ask for it back...."boy, you gave me that...it's mine now." My mental recall tells me a whole different version of the story like ummmm...you stole my shit...straight up!!! Kinda like letting it fall into your pocket and sneakin out the door!!!

I certainly could have respected the jack move more if it was more obvious like....

Call it what it really is...theft..either intentionally or not..I think you should do the right thing...give him or her their shit back and don't scratch it up either. Everybody hates a scratched c.d.

THIS IS AN APPEAL TO ALL RELATIONSHIP PROPERTY THIEVES(friends and family too.....cause ya'll do it and blame it on the ex)CAN WE PLEASE HAVE OUR SHIT BACK.

If you feed them, they will come? wtf!!!

BROTHAS.............WE HAVE BEEN DUPED, BAMBOOZLED, LED ASTRAY, RUN AMOK, HORNS WAGGLED AND DOWN RIGHT BEEN TAUGHT ALLLLLL WRONG BY OUR CURRENT SOCIETY. THESE PEOPLE GOT IT RIGHT!!!!

Oh hell no....now we got a topic here. As many times as I've cooked for a woman, I would be hit. It requires very little effort or actually none my part..the link says it all. Perhaps the next time some one says "go back to Africa" if your a single dude and/or have no game...you may consider it!




http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/africa/02/01/guinea.marriage.ap/index.html

Now after reading that story, what dude will ever trust dating a woman from "the Motherland"? On the other hand, I have to wonder...how good would it feel good to know absolutely that "YOU BEEN CHOSE"?

infamous report card pick up day

MAN...It used to be like this...ok ya'll...this is for the parents fo sho...I'm extremely pissed and had to get this off my chest...what better way to do it than to write a blog about it. Yesterday was report card pick up day....so i stroll up to the school cafetria to meet with my 14yr old son's principal and alllll of his teachers. The first 3 steps into the cafeteria after opening the door was"ohh yeah I'm so glad yo made it here...i need to talk to you.." so i'm like ok..let me sign in, get his report card and go holla at this duo of teachers at one table. It was almost like the Spanish Inquisition....I sat there like I was the one in school with my mouth closed and hands underneath the table...Got blasted for about 10 minutes starting with how smart he is and how helpful he is and how well he articulates his words for 30 secs then....oh damn that boy will just not stop talking in my classroom...always in some girls face or vice versa..(my genetic curse on him)...always walking someone to their class and tardy coming to my class for the remaining 9.5 mins...so after my first thrashing...i grudginly get up to go to my second a** whoopin of the day.....Honor Math teacher Mrs. S...greeted me with the "sometimes i could hug your son one day and kill him the next"...I didn't even want to encourage that kind of thinking so I used the "well let's work in a partnership" speech that always works to give the teacher assurance that you have their back at home...whewww that one didnt take as long because he did get a B in her class too...so off i go to the next round of what I can now unaffectionately call the "Parent Trap"...no not like the movie... real lifel stuff..Next for me to subjugate myself to was hi World Histry teacher...standing a masculine 5'3 or so to shake my hand and said..."oh, your son and I can't see eye to eye...(It took everything in me to not laugh in his face since my son is about 6'3 ans 240lb)....so I let him ramble on about how he doesn't turn in his homework all the time or he's late to his class and politely excused myself because he doesn't even have him anymore this year and i needed to speak to 2 more teachers....but he had a less than acceptable grade in his class....so im next on the chopping block for Honors Physics...A teacher from India...very interesting language barrier indeed for everybody....whose statements are basically consistent with every other teacher anyhow....so after a few comlimentary nods and verbal" oh ok's" i bounced from that meeting.....he brought that grade up anyway...last one of the day...Honor English was the last class...3 min in that meeting...he got an A...teacher said...he's one of his best students but still said...when he's done...he still talks in his class too much.... all in all all these people are telling me everything that I know about my own kid...he's bright, likes the ladies, they like him, talks too much and he's slow...I had to endure all of that just to pick up a damn report card that said he's still a good student especially for attending an honors program school on a grading scale where 92% is a "B". However..I appreciate all the knots that I took remembering that I was a kid at one time...BUT since two grades dropped and he missed too much work...and talked too much..and he was lazy at the house...I ending up taking his cell phone and putting his butt on punishment anyway.....LOL....funny how things work out sometimes...isn't it? Man, I just love those report card pick up days...I should have just let them mail me that crap in the first place...hindsight is 20/20!!

Who's the real winners here?

oh my god, Becky...look at her butt...it's just so big...its like just so round...I mean look at it. She looks like one of those rap guy's girlfriends. they only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute. who understands those rap guys anyway..it looks so gross...it's just so "BLACK". Gotta Give Sir Mix A Lot props for Baby got back...... As I was driving to drop off my son and 3 of his classmates to school this morning, I happened to hear Russ Parr and his entourage speaking about the ask men dot com poll on the "most desireable woman on the planet" ...I heard that guess who....BEYONCE was the number one person. Scarlet Johannsen was second and Jessica Alba was third....I was like mannnnnnnn...what the hell? For the women who read this, just give me a sec..I dont oogle long, I promise. However being of the mature age of 37.5, I thought of some women that were not mentioned and immediately had a convulsive mental note double take..probably causing an accident on MLK Jr BLvd and Carnegie AVE..... that demanded some recognition. In particular...Nia Long(always stunning)..Janet(ms Jackson cuz i'm Nasty)..Halle Berry(Oh please..good Lawd)....and Gabrielle Union(Sexy Chocolate)...ok that's enough of that. I, by no way advocate such ridiculous contests because beauty is certainly in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty Pageants and contests of this nature cause so pressure for women that by the time they ascend to Miss Universe, Miss USA, Miss State.. years have gone by without the joys of living and having a childhood full of fun and growth at a normal speed....Ok,going around the country or the world and giving speeches on world concern issues..WTF..please..maybe have a guest apprearance on a reality tv show or Letterman.....anddddd to make matters worse..who the hell remembers the countless losers unless someone messes up and the first runner up gets the throne....LOL....I just thought about how much that prepetuates a "HATERS" mentality"...hmmm another blog for that topic for sure. The amazing thing about that poll is that lots of different cultures subscribe to ask men dot com and to my suprise I've learned that(by actually asking lots of my caucasion male friends)the appeal of Beyonce is not because of her facial beauty, but more because of the way that she moves her body. "she looks hot but i'll bet she sure gives it to that Jay-Z guy" to quote an anonymous friend of mine. With so many other races desiring to have such status'....it always seems to be the black woman that wins out in the "end"...hahahahahah no pun intended