Remote Control Relationships...part 2

Hey, fam. Part two of this series focuses on the factors that allow for men and women to exert their will over their mate in a way that would normally seem gentle, kind and sweet. It will discuss a few of the methods used by some to keep their unknowing victim "in line" even when they aren't in their presence.

We can highlight the obvious on both sides of the fence and then delve a little more into the not so obvious.

One of the smoothest ways to exert control is by using "passive aggressive" behavior patterns. It is very possible to overlook this type of control because it comes across in such a discreet fashion.

Maybe I'm right or maybe I'm not. If I can shed light for someone still stuck, then I feel better.

The way that I have used it in the past and also witnessed it was even in asking the question.."Can I ask you a question?", another is when I intentionally projected my thinking to lead the conversation. Speaking loud and drawing attention is a common tactic. Additionally, when I wanted someone to do something, I would assume that they would do it, and in a hurry at that. Just because that's how I am. When I used to make cd's, I wanted to solicit opinions from my friends by giving them a sample...I almost never bothered to ask if they would do it or even if they had time. I went on with my merry music making self and kept it movin.

At the surface, it seems like rudeness. But, on a deeper level, it only feeds into a self serving attitude.

Once in a while, I come in contact with a true Misarcissist. Those individuals will start off making suggestions in such a fashion that it really doesn't seem like a demand...but it certainly is. The innuendos are so subtle and woven into general conversation that when directives are given(followed with a form of ultimatum...of course) the recipient never even knew what hit them. The politely delivered demands are highly effective in most relationships, because of the self esteem...or lack thereof on either side.


There are so many examples and I just used a few. Even when someone is aware of being"controlled" by their significant other, it's hard to see it for what it is and we tend to make excuses to cover up. Mastering the art that I like to call" flipping the script" is an under-rated form of hypnotism. Used efficiently, time elapses or moving out of town still make for interesting situations. The feelings of guilt/shame that can be asserted by the self absorbed person on the victim are real...thus they are being "remotely controlled."

The purpose of these posts are to recognize the patterns and give ourselves a fighting chance at falling back in love with ourselves. Not being defined by what another individual's influence over us projects, but by knowing and loving whom we are.

This is part 2 of a series on the remote control Relationship Felon patterns. Stay tuned for regular updates.

It is extremely important that we not only change the channel of behavior, but that we also grab the remote and shatter it into millions of pieces...before we simply fade to black...

Anyone care to shed some additional light? The floor is yours.