Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Oh Yeah...suuuuuure it hurts!

Man...I have to put myself on blast. On Monday, whilst I was writing Lo's Birthday blog, off in da cut in the kitchen with the door open, I didn't notice a black and yellow visitor that crept up in the house.

It was none other than Mr. Hornet.

Shown in their own natural environment, they seem like docile insects. But let me tell you this, fam...OH MY GOD!!!! I did have a higher pitch voice than normal when I met Mr. Hornet.

I thought it might be a fly that casually flew past my hand under the table. Boy was I wrong, so I just waved a lil bit thinking it would bounce...and bounce it did. I was wearing some Nike sweatpants and a few seconds later, I get this feeling like a match was lit and held on my leg.

I jumped up and uttered a few choice profane words and saw him try to escape through the closed window. I looked for anything in the kitchen to kill the lil bastard with and found nothing. I went into the office, the next room over, and found an issue of Los Angeles Magazine (wasn't mine, so I didn't want to get stung by the Mrs. too), so I put it down. Then I picked up some file folders of mine and commenced to swinging.

I spotted him behind the curtain. Swung like Barry Bonds for Home run #756. Dazed him and moved him to the rug at the back door and...

I stomped that S.O.B like Bruce Lee did in "Enter the Dragon" against O'Hara with the crunchy sound and all.

Now if you don't know what I'm talking about...

...this oughtta help you out.

I waited til I was almost 40 yrs old to get my first bee/hornet sting. I must say I went out like a punk. I used to laugh when people acted like it was soooo painful.

I was quickly attended to by the Google expert herself that had whipped up a home remedy within minutes of my antics.

Thanks, honey!

Watch out for the stingers, they might get you in the end. Oh and yeah...THEY HURT LIKE HELL!!!

This has been my public service announcement.


Dave J. said...

My condolences, that is not a hummy feeling.

neshia said...


KIKI said...

You wusss! Man up!LOL

You went Bruce Lee on him, huh? You don't know Karate, but I bet you damn sure know Ca-Razy! Did you make the sound effects, too?

Whaaaaaaa-Yaaaaaahhhhh! hehehehe

dc_speaks said...

@Dave: thank you dude. I shall not mock anyone again. lol

@Neshia: good idea. like the road runner.

@KiKi: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU....nnnnyyyy, NOT! by the way, I do know martial arts. I'll be seein you for callin me a wuss.

matter of fact, i got somebody for you. yeahhhhhhhh, boy!

Blu Jewel said...

oh my! i feel for you bruh cause i've seen some nasty effects of bee stings. good thing you were quickly tended to and weren't allergic.

KIKI said...

Ole sensative azz LMAO!

And you KNOW there's only one person who can keep me (somewhat) under control, so if you ain't callin them, I'm gettin in "crouching tiger" stance hehehe. Unless you gone send Lo after me...in that case...I'll behave...

Ms. Behaving said...

Shew...dem bee stings ain't no damn damn joke!!!

Not that I ever felt one before [but I'm sayin'] if I can't deal with a mosquito bite...then I know I ain't ready.

I know one thing tho'...I see you gotcha self some nice get back -- I mean had you not pointed out that that was a pulverized hornet in that second pic, I wouldn't have ever guessed it. :-)

Kudos to the Mrs. for makin' it all better. What would you men do without us ?!?!

P.S. I would have told you to SUCK IT UP but ummm you just got back and well quite frankly, kiki is already doin' a MIGHTY FINE JOB all by herself [LOL]

Okay..no more from me...I'm shutting up!

Organized Noise said...

I met Mr. Hornet when I was 8, it was an unpleasant experience to be sure. **having flashbacks**

dc_speaks said...

@Blu: thanks homegirl.

@Kiki: you are pushing ur luck aren't you? wait and see what happens. lol

@Ms B: ummmmm...should I say thank you or should I be looking for you like KiKi? hahahaha

@ON: what up brah? I was like..Wtf..it really does hurt. I guess the body surely doesn't like venom being injected in through a barbed hornets a$$. hahaha

i even told my mother and brother in law about it...it's become a big thing around the house as a laugh.

The Diva's Thoughts said...

I was satung when I was a little girl. That crap HURTS!!!!

GurlNexxDoor said...

I know I should laugh on my first visit here, but I couldn't help it. I am Ahem--30 something and have never been stung. I pray when I die, I can put in my Obituary that here lies so and so, and she has never been stung. Lol.

Thanks for coming by.

Ray said...

lol, I know the feeling. I had a looooonnnggg time phobia of Bees, Wasps and Hornets (especially after watching a shitload of killer insect movies lol).

I remember them things got into my window and would be flying in my room, I used to be a lil wuss and be afraid to kill it. Or do have me start talking about the time when I got stung on below my ear b/c a bee flew into my football helmet. I thought it was a heavy thing of sweat running down my neck but boy I felt that painful feeling too when I got stung and was screaming like a wuss.

You should have seen the spot, it looked like a Mosquito bite lol

Opinionated Diva said...

I know that hurt like a muh...but umm...dammit you told it in such a funny way that I had to giggle!

Especially when I read this, "I stomped that S.O.B like Bruce Lee did in "Enter the Dragon" against O'Hara with the crunchy sound and all" LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don said...

I was once bit on the neck by a wasp when I was around 10. Man, talk about pain. I couldn't believe something so small could cause that much pain.

We always reach for the magazines, don't we! LOL.

Shai said...

I have issues with bees and insects that bite/sting. I got stung by a bee and it hurt. I was more nervous that I was allergic. And you know what bees come at me like they know I don't like them. I try not wear fragrances to work cause at the busstop I get assaulted. LOL. I was once chased by a group of bees and this real big bee was leading the pack. I kicked of my heels and ran swinging my purse. LOL.

LoveMyselfFirst said...

i was stung by a wasp at 12 as i walking down the street and didn't realize it.. i just started to scream and ran into my parent's garage.. lol

those little insects are no joke. feel better

Mis Understood said...

Too funny, I wish I could have heard the scream you let out. Was it a Damon wayans scream? Poor thing, I too have yet to "bee stung by a bee"
Going on 40...

Mis Understood said...

Oh, the carpet pic...where is the bee???? lol

confessing7girl said...

OMG noooooooooooooooo im absolutely freakin scared of any type of insect out there!! that photo will give me nightmares for the rest of the week!!!!!!!!!!! :)
seriously i just keep fascinated with the colors and patterns natural produces! great photo!

dc_speaks said...

@ the diva: hell yeah it does. i wish it never happened. does that some punkish? lol...oh well!

@Don: again welcome brah, im glad you could relate.

@GND: welcome and it's ok to laugh on the first visit. stick around, there will be plenty to laugh about im sure.

@Ray: I used to look at people running all frantic when bees came around. now I know what's up. I'm not afraid of them, I'll probably try to kill everyone i see for a while. The helmet thing just sounds surreal...wow!!!

@OP Diva: hell yeah...I jumped down hard enough to make the house vibrate to kill that SOB. hahahaha. I didn't do the Bruce Lee face at the end though. ahahahahahaha

@Shai: heyyyyyyyyyyy, Shai. I did notice a few hornets lined up outside my door a couple of times. Maybe they have my "number" and they are gunnin for a brotha. Godd to see you around and I loved the poem you did the other day. Great Poem!!!!

@confessing7girl: welcome to the blog and thanks for feeling my pain. come on back anytime and be ready for anything...

@Donx2: the magazing would have gotten me in more trouble than the sting, so I opted for the lesser of two evils...that saved me! good looking out, brah

@Lovemyselffirst: first off, I love the name. thanks for stopping by my spot. I feel much better thanks. It was a mini adventure at our home I can tell you that. LOL!

@mis understood: ok, my first name is damon and the reference to that particular scream is so not cool. **staring at you realllly hard** by the way, the hornet is where it's supposed to be...DEAD and Smashed!!!

Tired of being broke said...

LMAO @ going like Bruce Lee on a little bitty insect.
Sorry you got stung..but ur description was funny.

KIKI said...

Fugg dat! That shyt is still funny as HALE! I had to come back for one more laugh...HAHAHAHAHA (ok...ok...I'll stop)

I'm just glad the BIG BAD BEE didn't do to much harm LMAO (I'm sorry...I just can't stop laughin)

You better be glad I wasn't there. You'd never live it down!

CapCity said...

don't mean to laugh at your angst - but your description was funny as HAYL! lol! yea, beWARE the Stingah!

dc_speaks said...

@ToBB: welcome to the blog. thanks for the comments and yeah I know it was funny. I did that on purpose.

@KikI: you are pressing your luck missy.

@Cap: its cool, i laugh about it myself. Now I do anyway. not on monday or tuesday, but today im good. thanks for stopping by.

laters, fam!

MysTery said...

Lol! Glad ur alright!

Girly_Girl said...

Oh, D.C., I feel so sorry for you. Being stung really does hurt. I'm happy you're not allergic...

Aren't you lucky you have Lo??? I'll bet her remedy made you feel better in no time.